Thursday, July 31, 2008
Magnum PI and LA Buns
i must preface this by saying i am in no way attracted to him - i learned this lesson years ago. you don't date anyone you work with. EVER. but i love the way he smells. its a mixture of good cologne and cigarettes. i know that must sound foul, but i love it. it just smellls manly to me. or maybe it reminds me of chad. chad smelled like armani and menthol and i thought it was hot. okay. i'm weird.
so the dude i work with wears some short shorts. one morning, i walked in on a conversation my coworkers were having before he got into the office. they'd renamed him Magnum PI in honor of his shorts. i hate shorts. unless i'm running in them, i don't wear them, but this dudes shorts are shorter than any of my running shorts. he sits right across from me and he'll cross his legs and when he's wearing these shorts, i can see the bottom of his nalgas! eeeeeeeee! very distracting.
i also feel compelled to tell you i have a crush on someone. i am talking all-out eee! he's over there! don't look at him, you'll be too obvious! crush. when i used to go late night to the Atlantic Station LA Fitness, he'd be there, but then i started working out early and he reappeared over at the Midtown gym. I really hope he isn't gay (you can't tell in this city), but I'm pretty sure he's not. He's so cute AND he's hispanic of all things! you know me and the whities.
when it comes to dating and flirting i'm a complete retard. i don't know how to do it. i'm way too shy. but i want to talk to this guy. R says stare him down and smile - be persistent and consistent about it... but its been weeks/months.... maybe he's gay or not interested... at least he's incentive to go to the gym! ;)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
i'm pretty sure this came from C via R...sounds good to me
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
atlanta family
okay, thats excessive (props to KM). it wasn't the worst, but top 5 AT LEAST....
if i ever doubted who my real friends are, i have yesterday to show me those who love me will stick by me no matter what.
i clearly have issues. and my closest friends know that.
i don't always reveal whats going on in this crazy head of mine and i only truly confide in a few, but i know those who really care about me, care about me in spite of everything. lately i've been sucking the life out of my friends with the constant despair i'm feeling. believe me, i'm sick of it too. but my best friends - they listen and don't judge and if they judge, i know its because they only want the best for me.
as badly as i wanted to go home after work and take a bath or go to bed, C wouldn't let me. She made me go to the gym. It's good to have a friend you are scared of ;) and afterwards, we went to Publix then to hers to christen the new deck furniture R had put together. there were a few times during the evening when i wanted to burst into tears, but no...she wouldn't let me... so they sat with me, talking and drinking until we were all so tired we had to crash.
this is what good friends do. and there are no words to convey how grateful i am.
thanks, H's. loca lola loves you back.
Monday, July 28, 2008
apologies
when i'm wrong, i will admit it and apologize - but i apologize far too often with you, for things i shouldn't, just so you feel better. but what about me?
#1
i went to mcdonalds for lunch today thinking a #1 might cure my aversion.
unfortunately, i want to throw it back up.
YUCK.
Friday, July 25, 2008
crotch holes
yesterday i was all excited about fitting into my smallest sized jeans, but i looked down later in the day and found a gigantic hole in the crotch.
this morning, i pulled a pair of pants off the hanger in my second closet...the second closet houses clothes that are too small for me, but i'm too attached to the clothes to throw them away.
i bought a pair of navy pants earlier this year without really trying them on (when do i ever try anything on?). they were too small, but i didn't want to go back and get a size bigger, even though i probably needed it, so i just hung them in my closet for a skinnier day.
well, the day has come. they fit. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
*and there are no holes in the crotch!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
from Perez's blog
This Might Make You Cry
This is so sad, yet touching.
Reece Fleming was diagnosed with leukaemia back in 2004 when he was just 4 years old.
He battled the disease for years until this May, when doctors gave the 8 year old boy only a few weeks to live.
The family decided to try and help him achieve most of his goals before he would pass. And one of those was to marry his school sweetheart, Elleanor Purgslove.
Reece's mother said "When we found out that we only had a few weeks with him we tried to do absolutely everything with him that we could. Him and Ellie had been 'special friends' for a couple of years but then they broke up. We said we'd have a pirate party, and Ellie came. She went to visit Reece a few times in hospital as well."
Then during a recent laser tag party, Reece "proposed" to his little friend.
After she accepted, their parents arranged a pretend wedding at Reece's home (not the kids pictured above).
The families went out to dinner in the mayor's limousine and organized the wedding with rings and even a fictional certificate.
The kids got married on July 4th. And Reece told his mom, "I can go now," after his wedding wish had been fulfilled.
His mom added, "He was so proud of her, and we were proud of them both."
The following day after the wedding, Reece died at home with his family.
Soooooo sad!
During the funeral, the mourners followed a horse-draw hearse on foot.
His mom added, "Even on the Saturday that he died, he got out of bed and walked to the sofa. He always tried walking, right to the end, so we thought if he walked for us then we would walk for him."
What an amazing little boy.
SHEW
my smaller sized jeans...HAVE A GIGANTIC HOLE IN THE CROTCH
super.
i liked the name Talullah
Judge: Girl's name, Talula Does The Hula, won't do
Thu Jul 24, 5:41 AM ET
A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.
Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.
Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.
The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.
"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."
The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.
In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.
Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.
New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.
Clarke said officials usually talked to parents who proposed unusual names to convince them about the potential for embarrassment.
banksy
Banksy is a well-known pseudo-anonymous[1] British graffiti artist. He is believed to be a native of Yate, South Gloucestershire, near Bristol[1] and to have been born in 1974,[2] but there is substantial public uncertainty about his identity and personal and biographical details.[3] According to Tristan Manco, Banksy "was born in 1974 and raised in Bristol, England. The son of a photocopier engineer, he trained as a butcher but became involved in graffiti during the great Bristol aerosol boom of the late 1980s."[4] His artworks are often-satirical pieces of art on topics such as politics, culture, and ethics. His street art, which combines graffiti writing with a distinctive stencilling technique, is similar to Blek le Rat, who began to work with stencils in 1981 in Paris and members of the anarcho-punk band Crass who maintained a graffiti stencil campaign on the London Tube System in the late 1970s and early 1980s. His art has appeared in cities around the world.[5] Banksy's work was born out of the Bristol underground scene which involved collaborations between artists and musicians.
Banksy does not sell photos of street graffiti or mount exhibitions of screenprints in commercial galleries.[6]
Here is the latest on Banksy's identity:Banksy: An Artist Unmasked
For years the graffiti artist known as Banksy has been the art world's Deep Throat: a hugely influential figure whose identity remained shrouded in mystery. Now, like Deep Throat, he has been given a name.
Banksy is a 34-year-old native of Bristol, England, named Robin Gunningham, Britain's the Mail on Sunday reported on July 13. The thread that may have unraveled the mystery was a 2004 photograph taken in Jamaica, which many — including photographer Peter Dean Rickards — say is the only known picture of Banksy. (The artist's agent, Steve Lazarides, denied that the photo — which depicts a man in jeans and sneakers crouching above a can of spray paint — is of Banksy. A spokeswoman for the artist declined to confirm or deny the Mail's report.)
With the picture in tow, the Mail canvassed Bristol, unearthing former acquaintances who identified the man in the photo as Gunningham. A former schoolmate interviewed by the paper recalled that Gunningham was a talented artist, while Luke Egan, an artist who has jointly exhibited with Banksy, told the paper that he shared a Bristol flat with Gunningham in 1998. Asked by the Mail whether Gunningham was Banksy, Egan reportedly replied, "Well, he wasn't then." Gunningham, whose middle-class upbringing bears little resemblance to Banksy's renegade persona, has vanished.
Since striding onto the scene in the early 1990s, Banksy has vaulted from obscurity to international renown, all the while escaping detection. Among his catalog of greatest hits, Banksy has released an inflatable Guant�namo Bay prisoner doll at Disneyland, depicted England's Queen Elizabeth II as a chimpanzee, tagged the West Bank border fence and sneaked his own Mona Lisa — her inscrutable expression replaced by a yellow smiley face — into the Louvre. "He's kind of captured the zeitgeist," says Gareth Williams, a contemporary-art specialist at Bonhams auction house in London. "But he's done it in quite an accessible way, so it speaks to people." Even for a vandal, going mainstream has its perks: Banksy's handiwork has commanded millions of dollars at auction from acolytes like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
But anonymity has been as crucial a part of Banksy's mythology as irony and wit. "Anything that's ever been written about him centers around the anonymity — that he's this Batman, this cult figure," says Pedro Alonzo, who curated an exhibition in England to which Banksy contributed. But that doesn't necessarily mean being unmasked would hurt Banksy's popularity. The intrigue over his identity has been a "double-edged sword," Alonzo says, since it has occluded the messages bundled in his art. "His work is a call to action. It's about hierarchies of power, social injustice and paying attention to issues that aren't being addressed," he adds. "There could be a bright side to this — the attention being diverted from his identity [could allow] people to really look at his work and consider it." Says Williams: "I don't think the Banksy story ends here."
Pinpointing Banksy's identity has long been a popular parlor game, and it's yielded false positives before. Last fall, a passerby in the East London neighborhood of Bethnal Green snapped a camera-phone picture of a man spray-painting a mural later confirmed to be Banksy's. In May, the New York City–based media blog Gawker suggested that Banksy might be Nick Walker, a British artist who, after being spotted stenciling a mural on the side of a Manhattan restaurant, reputedly told an onlooker that he was the elusive artist. The precision and scope of Banksy's creations have led others to theorize that he may work with a partner or that Banksy serves as the nom de guerre for a group of conspirators.
If Banksy has indeed been identified, Williams doesn't think it will puncture Banksy's ballooning sales figures. But Jeffrey Deitch, an art dealer with close ties to legendary graffiti artists Keith Haring and Jean-Michel Basquiat, asks, "When you can buy a superb Picasso drawing for $500,000 and a work dashed off by Banksy for the same price, does that make sense to you?" Still, Deitch, who says he likes a lot of Banksy's work, adds, "I don't think it will have any effect on his output. He's established the brand."
What exactly that brand represents has never been entirely clear. Banksy is a paradox: he used his anonymity to court attention and became a commercial success by condemning consumer culture. "I originally set out to try and save the world, but now I'm not sure I like it enough," he wrote in an e-mail to the New Yorker magazine last year. If his veil has been lifted, the world will have a chance to make an assessment of its own.
c'mon baby make it hurt so good!
so in other news.... I FIT INTO MY SMALLER SIZED JEANS! i'm not going to call them my skinny jeans because i've never really been skinny per se, but i'd folded and put away my Joe's Jeans awhile ago because i was muffin topping. this morning i thought "lets give these a whirl" and sure enough, they fit! comfortably! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
ballet, jazz and pilates
but in that "its gonna hurt so good in the morning" kind of way :)
sadist.
P/D/AMS
i get crazy emotional the week before my period. crampy the week of and blah the week after. that leaves a week of period freedom. guh.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
not cheap
after classes last night, i came home and passed out - with my ballet slippers on. i woke up this morning and my ankle was itching. felt a bump. scratched at it. thought maybe a bug bit me. and then i got into the shower and thought - SHIT. i probably have poison ivy and i've been scratching at it. now its going to spread god knows where! SHIT.
i brought an anti-itch cream with me to work, but have no rubbing alcohol at home for later, but really, i'm not itchy unless i think "i should be itchy", so i went to the Atlantic Station target for supplies.
i can never escape target with at least 2 more items that i did not intend to buy.
i walked out nearly $100 later with rubbing alcohol, a Botkier for Target purse (yes, its a hot, cheap, mess, but I actually really like it), a t-shirt, some shorts, some hair things, tampons.... apparently, money grows on trees. I then went to the Pizza Hut express and bought a personal pan pizza combo. i must be stopped. way too many carbs. i know better.
while i was sitting, i was people watching and lots of moms were buying school supplies. it made me think of my mom. i remember my mom looking for the best deals on filler paper. Paper! She would die if she knew how much I just spend on stuff i don't need. i don't know why i didn't learn better from her.
ouch.
last night i paid my "tuition" at dance 101. when the girl at the desk asked me what classes i was taking, i picked three - weighted stretch/ballet, jazz and dance fitness (which is really hip hop). i'd read the descriptions for these classes earlier in the day and thought these 3 would give me a proper workout without killing me. i used to be able to handle three...
a lot of people think of ballet as a slower, more controlled, easier movement. its not as choreographed as other classes i've taken, but that shit hurt. my body hurts in places its never hurt before and i was definitely the least flexible in that class. i am taking it again tonight only to prove to it (and by "it" i mean the class) that i will not be defeated! i'll show you, class!
the weighted stretch/ballet class was supposed to be a warm-up, but it ended up being a full-on workout, so when i stumbled out of that studio, i must not have heard the class call correctly because i joined what i thought was jazz on the main floor. it ended up being a much more advanced level funk class. i was OUT after 15 minutes. hard.
so sitting in the waiting stall, i was a bit disappointed in myself. why didn't i just ask the front desk where my class was instead of wussing out? no idea. 8pm rolled around and i was excited to take the dance fitness class, as i'd taken it before, but i had been so stretched out from the previous class that i was crap at following the choreography and my legs kept cramping up. i kept falling over to the left on my spins. the girl on my left kept cracking up at that. basically i gave up on the class, but finished.
but, i'm going back. it was a bad night. we all have those. and it was the first day. so i'll just shake it off and keep going.
Monday, July 21, 2008
be all you can be
the darkness
after getting back from my mini stay-cay, i hung out with chuck. first at starbucks (ps don't get the blended lemonade its a waste of $3), then at the park, then at apres diem, then at the theater.
in all the time that i've lived in atlanta, i've never really walked the park just to walk the park. piedmont really is our mini central park. yes, it was hot as balls yesterday, but it felt really good to walk and talk and just enjoy one of the best parts of the city. of course me being me and thinking "okay? what now" immediately following our walk and squat on the grass, chuck and i went over to landmark to eat at apres and buy our tickets for the dark knight.
i really hadn't paid attention to all the hype around the dark knight. i was gone most of the weekend, so i didn't really hear about it. i figured it would be a busy movie, but even landmark had a line form outside the theater at least 30 minutes before show time to get a good seat. our movie started at 3:45, but we lined up at 3:15 and there were still people in front of us.
i have to tell you, the movie was fantastic! i didn't see it because of the hype and i didn't see as some tribute to heath ledger.... but the man was fantastic! his delivery and comedic timing was insane. he definitely deserves an award.
Friday, July 18, 2008
i love you very very much.
i got on the phone and told her i was buying a ticket for an August 1 visit. She got super excited and before she could even get another word out i started bawling. i mean snot dripping down my nose, uncontrollable sobbing (keep in mind i am still at work)... then she starts yelling at me. IF YOU TELL ME YOU HAVE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH STEVEN AGAIN I WILL HANG UP ON YOU! she was serious. so in between sobs, i laughed and said, no the other one. she says "who other one?" and i said "i told you about him. Tony."
and in her way she says "hmm (as in "i'm shrugging my shoulders and think what you're saying is stupid" hmmm), well, most men lie. most men cheat. we all have problems. you are not the only one. my friend J won't leave her husband even after she found out he has a girlfriend. so you are not the only one. don't cry. forget him. go camping (oh yeah, i'd managed to get out i was going up north with C + R for some camping relaxation). enjoy the green. and forget it...don't you dare follow around a man. women don't follow men around. never. if he loves you, you aren't chasing him. be chased for once. get over it. and next time, you bring him home to me. if he is worth it, we will meet and get along. be good. be happy. i'm excited to see you. i love you".
there is no one better than my mother. i love you.
beware of non-liars
i hate you. and i'm done. you will not make a fool of me any longer.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
soaps
my background noise while i work is ABC soaps. All My Children, One Life to Live, General Hospital....
this shit is crazy.... my question is...how serious are these "actors" about their "craft". when they win an emmy are they happy? or do they realize how corny they are? i mean one of the storylines today was man loses 4 years worth of memories, when he remembers, he's in love with the wrong girl....or how about doctor falls in love with hooker....or how about mother and daughter both with multiple personality disorder? are they for real? they can't be!
i used to watch general hospital religiously in high school. i stopped watching when an alien (yes an extraterrestrial!) came to town.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
firefighters are homophobic
back in february...or maybe january... not sure... i got an email from S saying he was finally coming out of the closet. he's gay. call him. i kinda just stared at my screen and thought "okay, whatever". later on in the day i got another message from S saying he was sorry to all that received his prior "gay" message. he'd left his email browser open at the fire station and the other firefighters had written the first few people in his contacts the "gay" message. i didn't need the explanation. i know he's not gay. and i didn't really care anyway.
so this morning i got two messages from him. one says "i like big balls in my face. call me!" and the other says "i'm finally out of the closet. i'm gaaaaaaaaaaay".
so there are two things going on here that i'm irritated by. the first is that i get these emails at all. the second is that these dudes find homosexuality so funny. i'm not stupid. i know cops and firefighters aren't known for being free-loving hippies with extreme left views. but c'mon. find a new joke or something. its not funny. anyway. stupid. whatever.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
copy cat
i bought a box of 64 crayons and a thomas the train coloring book.
a couple of things:
1) don't hate! you know you've wanted to color well past the age when you stopped.
2) crayons and coloring books are not as cheap as you think. $3 for the crayons and nearly $5 for the book! whaaaaaaaaat?
3) i bought the thomas the train coloring book so i could send Ch a picture and he could hang mine like i hang his, but i'd rather color something else. i thought, there must be coloring books for adults right? then today, i was crusing the free people blog and they wrote on this exact subject!! what a coinkydink! :) they directed me here to Japan's PingMag and from there i found my way to Rosie Flo! I am SO getting me some Rosie Flo! I found what I'm doing Friday night! ;)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
So if you are having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself, remember:
You could look like a dick with buck teeth!
reunion
in an effort to get me past my little bump in the road (read: huge mountain of depression), i'm trying to schedule things i can look forward to. the reunion was a good call, but even small things like movies or camping, which i guess really aren't so small, are good to remind me that there are fun things to look forward to instead of my bed.
on friday night i'm supposed to see mama mia with L. i have a feeling this movie is going to make me want to go to greece. i have been dying to go to greece forever. should have done it before considering travel costs a million dollars now. saturday, i'm going up to SC to camp with R, C and friends. i haven't been camping/down the river since last year. i've already warned R not to put me in a ducky. i always get stuck. and honestly, i much rather sit in a tube and cruise on down, but apparently thats not allowed.
anyway, i don't so much have anything interesting to say today. i probably will soon as its about that time where i start counting down the minutes to 6.
Monday, July 14, 2008
fuck you
and to make things worse, Diesel (the restaurant next door that used to be Dish) decided to turn the music way up last night. i tried looking up the number. i called 411. finally, after not being able to find a number i went over there. Loser Nick saw me coming (if you'll recall, Nick was the one that got in my face). i was pissed.
i mouthed. TURN IT DOWN.
in fact, no one even heard me coming, the music was so loud. so nick went to the bartender, pointed in my direction and the music was either turned down or off.
i didn't hear it for the rest of the evening.
not that it helped any.
not low class, no class
i probably told you i stopped seeing Tony (yes i'm writing his name out now because he deserves it). i didn't. in fact, i have been doing the very opposite. i was seeing him at least 3 - 4 times a week. never out in the daylight and never with anyone else around. just how he wanted and planned i imagine. i used to think tony cared for me. i don't anymore.
today i found out that tony has been seeing/sleeping/dating/whatever the fuck you want to call it with someone else. so those long blonde hairs i'd find in his bed or on his clothes, probably weren't from dupree the golden he was taking care of. when he wouldn't let me scroll through his camera, it was probably because there were photos he didn't want me to see. those tampons in his bathroom - also not from the roommate years ago. all the times he'd look at his phone while i was over...probably conversing with her. i wanted so badly to trust him. i looked away when i got suspicious. i never asked any questions. but if i'm honest with myself, i was suspicious often. there is no relief in knowing that yes, in fact, he was seeing someone else. i know its cliche of a woman scorned, but i feel like it was all a lie. i don't trust anything he ever said or did. six years of lies.
the first time i found steven cheating on me, i was heartbroken and a feeling formed in the pit of my stomach that would never go away. it makes me second guess everything and to this day it is with me. it was with me the second time i found him cheating on me. it is with me today.
i am sure tony will tell you i am crazy and there is nothing for me to be upset about. afterall, he and i were never in a relationship. nothing was ever said. but i think all that time we spent together and all the things we shared meant something. they did to me. and maybe that is what is most upsetting. they DID mean something to me. and now i believe they didn't for him.
i want to scream. but there is nothing to say. i want to cry but there are no more tears. i can't anymore.
when jocelyn pulled her shit on me, it was like someone tore out my heart.
when steven pulled his shit on me, it was like someone tore out my heart.
now tony pulls his shit on me, and there is nothing left to take.
i just want to sleep.
Friday, July 11, 2008
home
some new yorkers are idiots. and when i say some, i mean the people quoted in this article
7/11/08
11:30 AM
Atlanta: Seventh Borough? Or Circle of Hell?

Hotlanta?Photo: Getty Images
The Sun today went to in search of such expats, and found they were of a certain subspecies of ex-New Yorker: People who move out of New York only to become more New Yorky than they were when they lived here.
"Atlanta is a second-tier city," Jessica Harlan, 36, who relocated two years ago, said. "New York is cooler and more exciting in every respect.""If my kids have a Southern accent, I will kill myself," Brooklyn native Jodi Fleisig, an Atlanta resident since 1998, said.
"I haven't found a single slice of pizza I have been remotely satisfied with," Mr. Merritt, 34, said. "I am not going to the corner pharmacy and being welcomed by name any longer. It was a culture shock."
"I miss the lawn on Central Park," Simone Joye, 42, who organized the site after moving to suburban Stone Mountain three years ago, said. "I miss pizza — real pizza — and bagels and lox. I miss bridges and the water, which creates a sense of serenity. Atlanta has no beaches."
Beaches? What? Those last two complaints are so outlandish and rose-colored-glasses-y that we wondered for a second if those people ever really lived here or just watched Moonstruck this one time. But their overall crabbiness implies they are in fact real ex-residents. Because while all New Yorkers may long for space, peace, and happiness, what they really want is to have all that here.
iphone freaks
seriously?! you people are freaks. its a P-H-O-N-E. you'll get one if you want one. you probably already have one. that one can't tide you over until say tomorrow?
granted, its a cool phone. but nothing is THAT cool. relax. take it easy. play on your current one.
i will probably get an iphone, but i have to wait until the crowd dies down because i have a bit of a situation for mine. i have a verizon phone and i love it. the phone is fine, but nothing beats verizon wireless service. this shit is the JAM! but i also have an AT&T phone that my mother gave me. its a 703 number. my friends and i call this phone the batphone. my mother sent it to me because "i never call her" and since in network calls are free, it only cost her $10 to keep in touch with me specifically. she also points out i can call my sisters too and it doesn't cost anything. it's also got some minutes (a couple hundred), so if i'm going over my Verizon minutes (which never happens), i can use the AT&T phone.
well the phone i have for AT&T service is kinda busted. it used to be an old as dirt phone that i think chasey "ate" and then my friend L gave me her old razr. i don't know how i managed it, but the battery falls out every now and then and now the charge doesn't keep, so i'm due for a new phone....incidentally, i've never gotten an iphone or even considered one until now because i can't take care of myself, let alone a phone and iphones aren't exactly the toughbooks of cellphones. this hasn't changed, but i've bought into the "coolness" factor of the iphone.
so my mom only pays $10 for service on the phones i've had, but the iphone needs a data plan, but i also don't want her to incurr the cost. so i have to find a way to pay for the phone and negotiate the monthly fee for it (with a data plan). see. issues.
this is why i don't read cosmo
Married by 30...or Bust!
Something happens to a lot of women when they hit their mid-20s: Panic sets in. It feels a bit like you’ve climbed aboard a runaway train and it’s barreling right through your life. Suddenly, there’s an urgent need for things to fall into place — career, home, and of course, love. And then when your buds start to find that special guy but he’s taking his sweet-ass time showing up in your world, that panic takes an even stronger hold. Your married-by-30, kids-soon-after plan isn’t working out.
Wow. Breathe. Okay, yes, it’s completely natural to want to be with a great man, but hyperventilating over why he’s MIA isn’t going to drop him at your doorstep, like, tomorrow. “You can’t enjoy life’s pleasures when you put so much pressure on finding The One, because you’ll become completely consumed by it,” says Doree Lewak, author of book The Panic Years. “Then later, you’ll look back and realize that you missed out on relishing some great years.” Avoid that fate. We have three steps that’ll help you chill out about finding Mr. Future Father of My Children...and putting your love life on a schedule.
Just Trust That You Will Meet Someone
Perhaps you’re already feeling miserable because there’s no potential partner in the picture and you’ve brainwashed yourself into thinking that you’ll wind up solo at dinner parties. Well, Little Miss Sunshine, here’s a reality check: “According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 90 percent of Americans will marry,” says Jean Elson, PhD, a sociologist at the University of New Hampshire. So break out the bubbly, because, statistically, you’re bound to get hitched if that’s what you want. Another reason your odds look good: You’re a pretty cool woman. “If you have friends, take it to mean you’re a likable, social person,” says Terri Orbuch, PhD, director of the University of Michigan’s Early Years of Marriage Project. Consider it double insurance that love and marriage are in your future. “Once you can have faith in the fact that you’ll eventually meet someone — today, tomorrow, next month, whenever — you’ll naturally loosen up,” says Orbuch. “And guess what? That relaxed attitude is precisely what attracts guys.” Dudes don’t really dig the desperate thing, but they love a girl who’s comfy with herself.
But You Still Need to Get Out There
Now that some of the weight has been lifted, be active in your quest to meet someone with whom you’ll really be happy. To be clear, active means going out a lot, saying yes to invites, and actually having fun doing all kinds of stuff. It doesn’t mean putting on blinders and zeroing in only on potential mates. The point is that you’re taking control, which always feels good, and putting yourself in the path of possibility. The point is also that you eke out the most enjoyment from your situation right now. Think: I’ll go to that networking event because it’ll be interesting, I’ll learn something, I’m single, and I have a free Thursday night to do it. And, hey, if I hit it off with someone, great; if not, I’ve gotten a nice evening out of it.
And when you do meet a guy, ditch the “Is he The One?” mind-set. “When you put so much stress on whether or not he’s the right man or if you have a future together, you end up sucking the fun out of the moment,” says Orbuch. It may seem too Shirley Temple, but ideally, you should try to have a good time with every new dude. So what if he’s not your soul mate? You’ll figure that out, but along the way, why not appreciate his quirky sense of humor or the new foods he’s introduced you to? Hell, you can always feign interest in his jibber jabber and check out the hottie at the next table.
Fight Off Those Panic Relapses
Even with your newfound autonomy, little freak-outs are bound to resurface. Maybe another friend got engaged or the initial fireworks with a new guy faded. “It’s normal for these single-forever worries to crop up, but it’s important to assertively not let them overwhelm you,” says Elson. Find a trick to stop the negative thoughts. “Literally pinch yourself,” suggests Orbuch. “It snaps you out of your head.” Or call up a no-BS friend to tell you you’re being ridiculous. Because getting down on yourself is such a waste of time.
and GOOD MORNING (jam up!)
so i went to bed just before midnight last night and got up at 4:00am this morning to get some work done and get ready to come down piedmont to tires plus to get my car some new kicks. (btw - R asked me the other day if i was going to get Lola Corolla the Jimmy Choo of tires. i said no, but i could possibly write jimmy choo on the tirewall in gold sharpie. i found that hysterical). i am going to be so tired today. good thing i have an evening of beauty...not really... i don't think getting a brazilian counts as relaxing. the pedicure at 10 nail spa might. but the brazilian? defintely not.
...you all know i have been house shopping and up until the other night, i thought i found "it" - 1337 Diamond Ave SE, Atlanta, Georgia (there is a really good listing on craigslist with lots of pictures), but the thing is - I HATE the master bathroom. everyone else likes or loves it. but i hate it hate it HATE it. i'm a shower/tub combo kind of girl. in fact, i have wanted a clawfoot tub ever since i moved out of my parents house. the master bath in 1337 is HUGE, but the placement of everything is strange. first of all, the rainshower has no walls. the owner said walls were intentionally left out so the owner could pick something and they'd install it. i don't think so. there are no sidecuts along the rainshower to indicate there was ever going to be an encasement. then the toilet and a sink are stuffed into one of the corners, then there is the stepup (and when i say step up i mean hike up) whirlpool tub and the tub is not very wide. then the other sink. its just all over the place and the tiles on the floor don't match the hiking stairs to the tub and the cabinets on the sinks don't match the tile. YOU GUYS! this house would have been perfect, but the bathroom was the deal breaker.
the weekend is here y'all. do you know how glad i am? guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
so who the hay got kicked off SYTYCD? i didn't watch.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
grease face
at the beginning of the day, its fine. my hair, my face. fine. not usually made up, but fine.
but right now, i could give you some oil to fry up any number of dishes. yuck.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeh
its all gross and gray and humid and sometimes black outside but it never effing rains.
actually, it did pour today, finally. jesus.
i don't really have a whole lot to say today.
i am wearing my stuart weitzmans. the ones i coveted not more than 2 years ago. the tortoise shell, pointy toe ones. oh man, when i saw these in the store i needed to have them, but for the past year or so (probably more) i have stuck to flat shoes like a fly to shit.
i've gotten lazier about my style, i think thats probably why i've put on weight. flops, flats - they are just easier to wear and since i don't equate flops and flats with high fashion, i'm usually wearing some variation of sloppy.
...but you throw the stilletos on and you've got a whole other game...you have to try. the shoes make you try.
so this morning i threw on my R&R jeans and my banana republic shirt (which i can't button at the boobs - great) the stuart weitzmans. i don't look hot, but i look like a made an attempt.
i've also heard that heels are better for your legs. which i think is true. when i wore heels every day back in the day, i'd get a lot of compliments on my legs. god! do i have cankles now from the flats? is that why no one comments on my legs. fuck.
so yeah, heels 1, flats 0.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
gucci hotness
don't hate
3 glasses of whitehaven later
so H and i visited the vinings for nearly 5 hours. goodtimes! i miss you, H!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
why i feel like shit
i've known for some time T is bad for me, but he's always been the go-to guy. every time S broke my heart, T was there to put it back together. when i feel anxious, T is the first person i call. when the bars down the street are too loud, he offers me a place in his bed.
so you take away my "stability" and i'm lost.
i'm not sure if T and i will ever speak again and even if we do, he's never going to say what i want him to say, or do what i want him to do. i guess it is better to do this now. it doesn't make the pain any less.
drama.
why i love my friends
Photobombing: The Fine Art of Ruining Other People's Photos
Monday, July 7, 2008
el gusto es mio
i called my mom on the way there and when she asked me what i was doing this evening, i pre-empted my tale by saying "you're going to laugh". so i told her i was going to eat and speak spanish with people i'd never met before. she was proud of me. we practiced a bit before i got ro the restaurant. i told her i'd call her afterwards.
so as directed, i asked for the "spanish group table". i was seated at long table with at least 15 other people. more would come and go throughout the night, but i only ever conversed with 6 people max. the attendees were diverse. some old, some young. some with basic level spanish, others advanced. i spent the most time talking to a young brazilian woman. she was really nice. there was another dude, a pianist from tucker, that i talked to. whenever i was at a loss for a word, he would offer me the perfect one.
i am really glad i did this for myself.
i called my mother on my way home and she was just as proud of me. felt good. she then told me she needed to go because she wanted to watch the bachelorette. who knew mango was a fan? we're both routing for jason.
ultra wallflower
its basically a site that allows people to meet up and enjoy a common interest together. i've been playing on the site for hours already and i've found people to watch movies with, play scrabble with and speak Spanish with...here's the thing...
i don't know when i became so shy. seriously. there is a meetup tonight at athen's pizza in decatur (have been there with S before. LOVE their food) but i'm scared! yes, SCARED. i'm not scared that i won't be able to speak Spanish. i can't do it as well as i used to, but i can do it. i think its mostly the meeting new people part. when did i become such a WUSS?!
i RSVPed yes, but i'm nervous. really really nervous. maybe i have social anxiety disorder... but i have to do this for myself. otherwise i'll forever sit in my house watching my sex and the city dvds, thinking about the same losers i have been for the past several years. don't i owe this to myself? YES!
you are a fucking idiot
:(
three things:
1) i started smoking again.
2) t broke it off with ME!
3) i did something very bad indeed.
i don't really want to talk about any of it, yet. but i'm in a very bad way today.
i hate me sometimes.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
peachtree road race
people make such a big deal about this race. i don't know why. first of all, its a race. a 10k in fact. and it's run in july. how fun does that sound?
i've done it before, twice before actually, and i can't say that i was all that excited to do it. i mean why do any of us subject ourselves to 6+ mile run in july? no idea.
but, because i love C, i have decided to help her on her quest for a bib number (as she didn't register beforehand).
here's what i posted in the "For Sale" section of CraigsList:
You are running out of time! - $30 (Atlanta, Georgia)
Reply to: sale-740164547@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-07-02, 10:10AM EDT
....so give up on selling your Peachtree Road Race number for more than what its worth. There are a million+ people on here trying to sell their number for over $50...some $100! Ridiculous. Seriously. Think about it. Completely ridiculous.
It's July 2, you have one more day to sell your Peachtree Road Race number to me for face value. I don't care what time group it is and I'll even appreciate that you sold it to me at face value with a smile and I'll pay you cash! See... easy.
*FYI: When you post your classified listing, it says very clearly "please do not sell your ticket for more than face value". Just saying....
Here's what i posted in the "Wanted" section, but it got removed:
YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME
....so give up on selling your Peachtree Road Race number for more than what its worth. There are a million+ people on here trying to sell their number for way beyond what its worth and its ridiculous. It's the Fourth of July! Very un-American to try to sell me something for more than what its worth. Not to mention un-cool.
You have one more day to sell your Peachtree Road Race number to me for face value. I don't care what time group it is and I'll even appreciate that you sold it to me at face value with a smile and I'll pay you cash! See... easy.
*FYI: When you post your classified listing, it says very clearly "please do not sell your ticket for more than face value". Just saying....
the worst movie ever
i didn't and now i regret it. i spent $10 on that piece of shit movie last night. i've never even considered walking out of a movie before (okay maybe once, some sean penn movie back in college), but this one made me think twice. if i wasn't so tired and lazy to get out of my seat, i would have.
this movie is seriously the worst i've ever seen. with the other indiana movies, the plot was at least plausible. this one? NO. just awful.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
wanted
i liked it, but its not for the squeamish. if you have any problems with violence, i wouldn't recommend it. i expected action, but not seeing bullets flying through heads. it was too much. however, and maybe this is just me, violent movies where women kick ass, motivates me to workout. not sure why. so after the movie, i went to the gym and i feel spectacular!
WTF?
three people text me when i finally got around to turning the phone on:
TB
CJ
and fucking S! are you fucking kidding me? here is the gist:
"played kickball yesterday. we were very dysfunctional. lost15-0. suck it?"
A) CRASS. B) YOU HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND. C) WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!