battle royale

i don't even know what that means, but it sounded appropriate for the story i'm about to tell you.

i'm not even sure how my mom and i got on this topic...oh yes i do. i was laying in bed delirious and she came in to say she was off to annapolis (don't ask me why. i've made peace with my mother being random. it only gets worse with age).

my mom isn't the type of woman that tells you something and then just walks away, she stays and makes decent (often long) conversation with you, whether you want to have it or not. so i'm laying in V's old twin size bed, having gotten only 2 hours of sleep (CAN snores the loudest of anyone i've ever heard), trying to deter conversation, but my mother persists. so i start talking about how john edwards finally admitted to cheating on his cancer ridden wife. i figure she'll go off on that for several minutes, during which i'll drift off to sleep... no chance. she told me this story and i'm so glad she did:

you'll recall during the whole T saga, she yelled "all men cheat" at me. apparently, she has first hand experience. back when my mother and stepdad were dating, he apparently thought he could do better (stupid man, you can't do better than mango). so he announced one day that he was seeing someone else. this angered my mother, but it angered her more that she'd lent him money around this time because he was having some financial issues (i forget exactly why she'd lent him money) and his appreciation came in the form of cheating. so rather than yell and scream she says "okay. thats fine. but that tv over there? its mine". so she rips the tv out of the wall and proceeds to go to her car and drive off. i'm sure my stepdad, being the TV addict he is, probably tried to stop her. but you know mango. she can move washers and dryers by herself (i've seen her, i know). she wasn't going to be stopped. she said at one point he yelled at her about taking the tv and she said very simply "i paid for this tv! you don't need it anyway. you have a beautiful girlfriend to have fun with. you don't have time to watch this tv". and she drives away.

well weeks go by of my stepdad calling my mom to ask her to forgive him and to get the tv back and she doesn't respond. not once. mango is stronger than me! so finally my stepdad shows up at her house. he is greeted with "yes?" and he hands her money. she takes it and lets him come in to collect the tv. but he doesn't take the tv. instead he apologizes to her for being a dick (i'm sure thats not what he said, but you get the gist).

they watched tv that night....