not so innocent

i made a promise to myself never to reveal names on this blog, primarily because no one who reads this agreed to actually be in it. so i use first name initials. if you don't know me, this works out perfectly and if you do, then (hopefully) you'll chuckle at how i represent you to everyone on the internet.

but there are a few people that i will call out - first and last, completely spelled out. even your middle if i know it. what would make me do this? you. calling me past midnight. i have a rule. and in case you want to pretend like you've never heard it, i'm going to tell you again.

DO NOT call me past midnight ANY night unless you are DYING. NOTHING you have to say past midnight can't wait until a normal hour when I'm not asleep. Calling me past midnight is DISRESPECTFUL. You must not think much of me if you are calling me past midnight because really, the only thing you have to say or ask is for me to come over and fuck you. and guess what? I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRL. fortunately, the people that call me past midnight on a routine basis would NEVER call me in an emergency, so i don't really need the disclaimer. its pretty easy to identify who has an emergency and who doesn't when a call comes in past midnight.

I'm talking to you, Chad Alan Norris originally from Fairfax, Virginia with an older brother named Chris and a younger sister named Courtney. I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO YOU PAST MIDNIGHT. I don't want to talk to you any night. I have nothing to say to you. You are 33 years old. Time to cut this shit out. Seriously. GROW THE FUCK UP!

My rule applies to any form of communication, including instant message. This morning at 2am, I got an IM from some dude named Kevin that I'd met online probably around a year ago. Obviously nothing came of it, but this morning I get a "hey, didn't you IM me on my birthday?". First, you can't ask that question at an hour when i might be up? Second, if you need me to clarify whether or not I had a conversation with you, what makes you think I'm going to want to talk to you? You just called me unmemorable.

What the FUCK is wrong with you guys?