loved

i take everything back from earlier today.
my work did actually make a big deal out of my birthday - even the new girl. she'd stopped by belly to get cupcakes. my boss went out at lunch to buy me a cake and then after we ate that, we went for mexican. i'm such a whiny brat. thank you so much work family. i truly appreciate it.

today was a stressful day. without going into it, one of my clients is teaching me the value of patience and tact. i complained to my boss about it, but being the great boss that he is, he wants me to handle it. he could step in, but he's not and i appreciate what that says about his faith in me. i'll work it out. you know. it will be on my time and in my way, but one thing my friends know about me is that i always find a way to make things better. with work especially. i'm a fighter.

so worn out and feeling slightly defeated, i roll up to my apartment and find the package my mother said she'd sent for my birthday. my mother is the queen of random, so in it there are running socks (how'd she know i needed those. seriously? i was just saying the other day the washer must have eaten them), a shirt from old navy, a couple of oatmeal cookies (one with happy 30th birthday written in candy letters), a miniature shoe for my collection, some pictures C drew me with narration by my sister, J, a BIG, musical Peanuts card that plays the Peanuts theme, and some money...

but there was only one thing that made me cry like a baby...my mom and dad aren't writers. usually they send a card and it's got "love, mom and dad" in it. this one was no different from the ones in the past except that my mom color photocopied two 3x5 photos they took of me when i was either 2 or 3. there was nothing on them, just the two color copies on a lime green piece of paper, but just the fact she thought to put those pictures in there meant so much. i totally lost it. actually losing it right now. i'm not sure why. maybe seeing baby pictures of yourself from when you were very little on the eve you turn 30 makes you emotional. its a lot - thinking back on all the moments and memories from that time up until now. its almost overwhelming - the moments in between. and with any luck, 30 isn't the halfway point...so many more memories to create. its a lot.

anyway, sorry guys, i'm feeling emotional. damn this PMS! but i do thank you guys for making me feel special and loved. you guys are more than i could have ever dreamed.

i love you.