Cute as a Bowl of Peaches!!!

I took a cab into work so as not to leave my car in the increasingly shady work parking lot. The MARTA station is right across the street from the building I work in, so it made sense until I remembered I hadn't asked anyone for a ride home on Monday afternoon. Eh.
My go-to cab company has always been Lenox. Not sure why. It just ended up on my speed dial. So this morning, my luggage and I walked over to CVS, bought a Red Bull, got some cash and waited on my cab.
I either get really quiet taxi drivers or really eccentric ones and today's was a doozy!
At first, I couldn't understand a word he was saying because he has no teeth. For real. He was an older dude and as he helped me with my bags I noticed he had no teeth - so when he began talking to me from the minute the car set off, I had to adjust.
No Teeth was definitely a talker though and I tried to pretend like there was something really fascinating about my phone so that he would stop, but he wasn't taking the hint, so I figured I may as well bite.

Mr. Taxi: "I got some jokes for you!"
Lola: "Oh yeah, let's hear them"
Mr. Taxi: "Would you believe you and I are on crack right now?"
Lola: "Err...no???"
Mr. Taxi: "We are"
Lola: "I'm pretty sure I'm not"
Mr. Taxi: "Are you sitting?"
Lola: "Yes"
Mr. Taxi: "So am I"
Lola: "ooookay"
Mr. Taxi: "We're both on our cracks!"

Here's another one...
Mr. Taxi: "What gets longer the more you pull on it, goes between your breasts and also goes in a hole?"
Lola (after awkward, uncomfortable laugh): "I have no idea"
Mr. Taxi: "Oh come on, guess, but it's not the obvious, dirty answer!"
Lola: "I really have no idea"
Mr. Taxi: "Your seat belt!"

Oh this one was stupid....
Mr. Taxi: "Where's your husband?"
Lola: "I don't have one"
Mr. Taxi: "Neither do I!"
Lola: "Good to hear"
Mr. Taxi: "Where's your boyfriend at?"
Lola: "Don't have one of those either"
Mr. Taxi: "SAME! You got a girlfriend?!?"
Lola: "Nope. Let me guess. You do?"
Mr. Taxi: "Girl you are quick! SEVERAL!"
Lola: "Well aren't those some lucky ladies?"

Several other of his stories during the 10 minute cab ride were about how he wasn't particularly fond of the gays or women who smelled bad. He did tell me repeatedly I was very pretty and at one point even told me I was as cute as a bowl of peaches. I think that's good?

As I exited the cab, Mr. Taxi says to me "BE SURE TO STAY OFF CRACK!". He even gave me a hug.

Thanks, buddy.