for fuck's sake!

for the last time. it is GOSSIP GIRL not gossip girls. it is not a plural title.
G
O
S
S
I
P

G
I
R
L

FUCK! HOW HARD IS THAT?

Christian Dior, Spring RTW 2009

photos by alessandro lucioni

you all know Dior is my favorite designer by far, but this collection reminds me of early to mid-90s Versace, maybe some 2000 cavalli thrown in? not as pretty as i like my dior. not by a lot. the majority of the collection wasn't as light and airy as previous collections. not at all what i'd expect from a spring collection....eh...what do i know?

over it

i did laundry last night. watched gossip girl. went to the gym.
so i was basically bored out of my mind.

‘In New York City, You Have to Do What You Have to Do to Snag a Man.’

9/29/08 at 11:50 AM

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Photo: WireImage

You know that "Me love you long time" thing? European dudes love that, according to Real Housewife LuAnn DeLesseps, who interrupted a Korean woman texting on her phone the other night at the bar at the St. Regis to offer some, er, friendly advice: "I believe in empowering women, because I myself am a woman, so let me give you this advice. When men see females on their BlackBerrys working hard, it really turns them off. Men like women to be females ... to not be like workaholics, as that comes off as being uptight in the bedroom and control freaks ... With you being Asian, you have an advantage. My European friends in particular adore Asian females because of their submissiveness. So work that to your advantage. At the same time, I can sympathize with you as a woman in New York City, but you have to do what you have to do to snag a man." [NYP]

Dear Diary....

I'm sorry I haven't written!
I'm not really sure I have anything interesting to say - not that it's ever stopped me.
On Friday, I watched The Duchess with Chuck. I know what you're thinking "why didn't you watch the debate". Eh. I already know who I'm voting for. I don't need that tomfoolery to help me decide. Watching Palin's interviews with Katie Couric didn't help either - considering she sounded like an idiot. The movie was actually good. Surprisingly good.

ooook...so I'm going to be lame now. Last night was the premiere of the all the Sunday night shows - Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters - and I couldn't help but miss Tony. We used to watch those together every Sunday. I found myself missing his companionship. YUCK.

bitches are going down!

so yeah..
i have had some trouble sleeping this past week, which is why when i finally get there i am so thankful. well, last night, Diesel (the "restaurant" next door) and i went head to head AGAIN. *please see June 2008 post.
i was laying in bed, wide eyed, starting around 10:30. around 11 i started walking around trying to tire myself out. around 1130 i was getting somewhere. around 12 i was finally starting to feel tired. 1230 i started drifting off to...nope... Diesel, that disgrace of a restaurant, decided to turn the front patio loudspeakers on. i was livid. its a FUCKING WEDNESDAY! but of course, the trash they attract are butchering michael jackson and otis redding's greatest hits. i know this because its so loud, i could sing along.
so i go to my computer to a) find out if noise ordinances really exist for this type of thing and b) get the phone number. i find out that between 10pm and 2am, loudspeakers are not allowed, least not when the sound travels off the property - which in this case it travels right into my bedroom. i also called and did anyone pick up? no. so i throw on my clothes and i stomp over there (incredulous that i'm the only one that seems to think this is a problem), open the door and who do you think is drunkenly walking around? none other than my friend Nick, the waiter that cornered me after i'd sent my initial email to the general manager. i was like "turn it down. there is no one on the patio. it's 12:30am on a wednesday". he rolls his eyes at me and says "ok". to which i reply "don't roll your eyes at me. i'm not coming over here again. next time, its the police."
GAME ON DIESEL.
GAME ON.
my new mission in life is to close this shit down. i'm not kidding.

i can't make this shit up

"don't underestimate yourself. your social skills are needed by others at this time."

going to eat chinese food is always a good idea when you're not hungry. i figured it was 2 o'clock and i probably needed to eat so i walked my ass down to the chinese buddha about 3 blocks away. my waiter and i recognized one another at the same time...it took us a few seconds, but i realized i was staring at J, an old friend of S's . J, S and I hung out from time to time back when Steven and I were together.

J's English is not so great (he's Chinese), but he's such a sweet guy. I remember S and I took him to a Halloween party at Compound one year. He had a blast! He was mesmerized by the entire experience.

Anyway, J and I just kinda stared at one another for awhile until he broke the awkward silence by saying "long time no see! steven's friend yes?" to which i laughed awkwardly and said "ex girlfriend, yes, Lola". Ugh.

Needless to say, running into your ex-boyfriend's buddy doesn't do much for your appetite - so I didn't really eat my General Tso. J, being the good dude he is, gave me two cokes for the road and about 30 fortune cookies.

the guru

i recently revealed to my guru some things about my running.
the first was that i was disappointed in my runs. i feel like i should be faster and have more endurance, but most of the time i feel like i'm gasping for air and don't have much motivation to go past a certain mileage. i think because i'm going to to gym to do my runs, i watch the clock too closely and can't avoid thinking "when the fuck is this going to end?" (for real, i say that in my head)

when Guru asked me to join he and his wife on an upcoming run, i expressed hesitation because even though i have been running (and in spite of the gasping and the almost dying), my runs have become therapeutic. sometimes, i'll even start crying...so in other words, running has gotten very personal.

well, guru thought about this yesterday and gave me some advice:

Guru: so I was thinking about your emotional running... I think that is good for you long term.
instead of your blog "walk away" this could be like "run away" (from past distress, recent turds and other emotional baggage).

Lola: emotional running?
expand
oh you mean like crying when i run?

Guru: I find that running really clears my mind and helps focus. very similar to meditation you focus on keeping your breathing standard and try to think about your "thought patterns" not just your thoughts. the breath is the simplest thing in life, for without which there would be nothing else, so when things get too overwelming, bring it back to the simplest of terms "the breath" and then think back to WHY you were thinking about whatever you were thinking and reflect on how your pattern of thoughts got you there. don't worry about your pace of running, work on maintaining a constant and sustainable breath... the rest both physically and emotionally will work themselves out. I find that running with headphones only serves as a distraction to one's real thoughts and interferes with finding breath. Remember, to focus on your breathing, if you can keep a natural steady rhythym that is the right pace. try to take yourself out of the "drama" of your thoughts and try to figure out how your pattern of thoughts "connected and flowed" so that it brought you to where you felt emotional in one way or another. Those "connections of thoughts" should give you insight into what is bothering you.

Excellent advice. I'll be sure to tell you how it turns out.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

I've been listening to music all day working on this gd presentation and one of the songs that played randomly was John Mayer's Slow Dancing in a Burning Room. It's a good one.

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

Love Lockdown

i am in love with the new kanye west song. download it.

have a good weekend

i said this to good S when we spoke last night. i knew C + R would approve. i'm not sure i approve, but whatever...
i also got this from (mama) C this morning. i was going to turn my nose up at it and claim i didn't need it, but it ended up being a good read. a good "relationships" article is hard to find:

Dating Diaries: Ten Dating Red Flags

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:07am PDT
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When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.
1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.
2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

Photo creidt: Weblo
3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.
4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.
5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.
6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

Photo credit: University of Pittsburgh
7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.
8. Your friends or family don't like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.
10. You practice "unbalanced dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.
What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?
Posted by Rich

i have an announcement to make

i am really tired today.
ask me why i'm tired.
i'll wait.










because i made out with good S and stayed up until 2am.
may i also say that i didn't forget everything i posted about the other day.
he apologized.

tuesday night run log

5 miles:
1 mile run
2.5 mile bike
1.5 mile run
SUPER!

god we're old

you know whats wrong with shows like the new 90210?
we (yes i'm talking to you) look more like the PARENTS than the students now.
SHIT

i heart john galliano

i'm not sure how i missed blogging about the fall 2008 dior couture show, but i was just reminded while looking at more of the spring RTW shows on style.com. i always blog about dior couture. my bad. i know most of the world can't afford it, but i really don't know how you can't be a dior fan. look at this! its just so beautiful. wearable art!

it's like paris glam in OUTER SPACE!
HOT

photos by alessandro lucione

I'm a CREATOR

so i saw a quiz on my MSN homepage and had to take it.
"Can Your Favorite Color Determine Your Perfect Job?"
you know i love quizzes!
The Color Career Counselor (on CareerPath.com), powered by The Dewey Color System -- the world's only validated, non-language color-based career testing instrument -- uses color preferences to determine successful career paths. Dewey Sadka, author of "The Dewey Color System," says using colors instead of a questionnaire eliminates the chasm between self-perception and self-truth and reveals your core motivations.
So I took it and here's what it said:

• Best Occupational Category

  You're a CREATOR

  Key Words:

  Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

  These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

  CREATOR OCCUPATIONS
  Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

  CREATOR WORKPLACES
  Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.

  Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

well, i guess i'm in the right place. good to know. these things are always so anti-climactic

GEEZ

IS IT EVER GOING TO FUCKING RAIN?
I AM SICK OF THIS OVERCAST, CLOUDY, HUMID BULLSHIT.
JUST FUCKING RAIN.

i'm ugly

so this is why...

Travel + Leisure readers say Atlantans are not so attractive

By AJC staff | Monday, September 15, 2008, 11:01 AM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Atlanta may be the best city for singles, but those singles apparently aren’t all that good-looking, according to Travel + Leisure Magazine, which released its “America’s favorite cities 2008” reader survey results recently. In the survey, 25 major cities were ranked in 45 categories, and Atlanta came in 23rd out of 25 in the “attractiveness” category.

Well.

From where we sit and ogle, there are lots of beautiful people, men and women, to look at in Atlanta. OK, maybe not as beautiful as Travel + Leisure’s No. 1 city, Miami, but come on — we’re less attractive than Phoenix? Than Nashville? Than Orlando?

Right: Travel + Leisure readers say Miami has the most hotties (pictured: Mango’s Tropical Cafe across from South Beach), but Atlanta has fewer than almost every major U.S. city. Photo: Cheryl Blackerby/Palm Beach Post.

We ranked 3.79 out of a high score of 5, as compared to Miami, which scored a well-deserved 4.45. (See Atlanta’s full survey results here.)

Even so, our best rating was in the affordability category, where we came in 11th. Here’s a thought: Maybe we can take advantage of the affordable goods and services in the city and use them to gussy ourselves up?

Are Atlantans really that unattractive? Or do Travel + Leisure readers need to look again?

skinny bitches

L'Wren Scott Spring 2009 RTW -
i could never wear anything in this collection, but i appreciate the silohuettes and the lightness....



click here to see the rest of the collection
photos by maria valentino

fashion week picks

marchesa spring RTW 2009 - my favorite collections are always "pretty".

i don't understand the hair and makeup. i guess it was supposed to force us to realize the true beauty of the dresses. i would have liked to have seen lovely, angelic faces, instead we got whatever the hell this is. don't let the lack of cosmetics fool you. the dresses are gorgeous.




Click here to see the rest of the collection

photos by marcio madeira

run log: saturday & sunday

2.25 on saturday
2.5 on sunday
i was supposed to start running 3 miles on sunday, but it seems the jump from 2 from 3 is significant because my body just didn't want to go there. next sunday i guess.

the game

dude. i don't get men. for real.
so remember when i said i had no expectations of good S? well, i lied. i did. i expected him to call.
as jaded as i am, i still believe (i'm not sure how) people will do the right thing. the thing is, people keep proving me wrong. not just men, but women too.
the last i heard from good S (friday) he said we'd hang out saturday or sunday. i haven't heard from him since then. i know its only sunday, but i just don't like playing these stupid games and adhering to unwritten dating rules - the ones every married person likes to remind me of. apparently, you never give a man a saturday date. okay.... fine. i'm not sure why. apparently this says you are making time for him (is that a bad thing?) or it says you are not busy (i mean, i'm not, lets be honest).
anyway, either he's playing "the game" or ... god. it could be anything. the wind was blowing northwesterly...
anyway.
i'm done.
i'm out.
game over.

the new girl

we have this new intern at work.
last week we all went to lunch as a "welcome to the team" thing...
and the entire time she ate and spoke with her mouth open.

BARF.

good follow-through

he called. unfortunately, i seem to have contracted some sort of sore-throat, tired all over illness similar to the one he has and he had a couple of stories to write, so we never got together, but we chatted and then i went to sleep - for 12 hours.
ew.

for the fans

so last night...
good S and I had been emailing via Facebook yesterday afternoon. he took me up on my drink offer (you knew he would) and i eventually gave him my number as i'm pretty sure it changed from when i last saw him. he said he would call me that night. hmm. that was quick!
i went home and made my bland boring dinner of mashed potatoes, veggie medley and chicken (i really have to give props to my mom. i took her delicious daily meals for granted). i played on the computer some and around 7:00pm got a call from good S.
we chatted for a couple of minutes...when i asked him what he was up to that evening he said he was headed to the highlands to play trivia at moe's and joe's. oh reeeeeeeeeeeally?
well of course you know who lives in the highlands, within walking distance of moe's and joe's? THIS GIRL. however, once i said that to him and he invited me along, i instantly regretted it because i have been on a roll with working out and really wanted to go to the gym. you know how it is. once you are out, you're out - you're not going to the gym. no chance! but, clearly delusional, i didn't bother taking off my workout clothes before heading out the door - thinking i'd go to the gym after moe's and joe's (that makes me laugh now). so i walk down to the street to meet good S and three of his buddies.
i've never been in moe's and joe's. that place is a shithole. and i mean that in the nicest way possible. we were pretty decent at trivia and thank god we had that because the conversation was a little strained/awkward/weird in the beginning.....it took a few beers to loosen us up. but things got loose and around midnight, i remembered i was a 30-year old with a job i had to be at by 9am, so i got up to leave. this is when good S asked me if he could walk me home. um, yeah!
so we walk the 3 or 4 blocks to my house and when we come up to the building, neither of us knew how to end the night. GUH! we are so middle school. we hug and we have that moment when you think "are we going to kiss? is he going to lean in? what do i do?". he solved the dilemma for us and landed one on me. it was really nice. so we stood there, outside on North Highland and kissed for a few minutes when he pulled away long enough to ask me if he could come up.
if this were old me, i would have said, "let's go", but i've learned you shouldn't play all your cards within the first couple of hours. so i said no, but i was looking forward to the next meeting and left him on the street. he called me when he got home around 1am. he said he'd call today.
perhaps because i've met my fair share of AWFUL men, i don't expect anything from this, but good S is a good guy, so i think he will call.
stay tuned.

Remembering

before i start writing about my silly, oftentimes stupid, experiences....i wanted to take some time to remember today.

on the morning of september 11, 2001, i was dropping off blueprints at the fairfax county government's office building in chantilly. i walked back to my car, put on my seatbelt and tuned into WPGC for some music on my way to the office. i only heard a snippet before the DJ cut the music and began reporting on the attacks on the WTC.

what?

at first, i didn't believe it, choosing to turn off the radio. but the situation was too severe for me to ignore it. i turned it back on and listened all the way back to the office. i hadn't drove that fast since my last ticket. i was the first one in. will followed and when he walked in the door i didn't even know what to say.

what is going on?

then the attack on the pentagon happened and things went from bad to worse. i didn't know anyone in New York at the time, but I knew plenty of people who lived near the pentagon, worked at the pentagon.

what

was

going

on?

i went home early that day (after finally being let out of the building. that day, it seemed like everyone was locked in for their own safety, even in the days following) and waited on G and M to get home. i watched the news for as long as i could take it, but eventually turned it off. it was just too much. it is hard to believe that was seven years ago.

so today, i

remember

mourn

and pray.

very hot

good S is a better kisser than i remember.
:) details in the morning, kids.

blast from the past

last night i got a friend request from a dude named...well shew... ask me and I'll tell you his name. i'll call him good S. His name is Steven but its spelled with a "ph" not an ugly "v".
i got the friend request on my way to the gym. i'd gotten friend requests from people i don't know before, but they were at least in the same industry. i didn't have any friends or work in common with this guy. the name didn't even ring a bell, so i decided to be cheeky and write him back saying something like "don't mean to be rude, but do we know each other?" and then went on my way to the gym. when i got back, i'd gotten a message from him saying something like "yes, we hung out a bit a few years ago. i met you at some girl's house that went to Duke"
HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS!

you've probably never heard of this guy because it was pre-Steven. it was also during some years that i am not exactly proud of. the days i was good friends with Cathy. i was into some things that i regret.

so one night, we were hanging out on Cathy's front porch and some dudes were walking down the street in front of her house. we must have been wasted or something because one of us called out to these dudes. one of them was some german dude (i think he was german. gimme a break, it was 4 years ago) and the other was good S. we somehow ended up ordering chinese, talking and falling asleep in cathy's house. just SLEEP! but it was on a school night....

good S and I really only went on one date but i remember it pretty clearly because he came to the door with a rose. i can't even tell you what we did, the beginning was just so memorable.

so when good S finally cleared the fog for me via Facebook, I felt like an IDIOT.
so i told him i owed him a drink. ha! an offer of a drink always smooths things over. right?
IDIOT.

2.25

i tried really hard to go the full 5k but i couldn't. i was having trouble breathing in the first mile, but i managed to beat the mileage from the day before. 2.25 baby!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
yeah anyway. good night.

AMAZING

someone needs to post Justin Timberlake's rendition of Marvin Gaye's "Got to Give it Up".
OUTSTANDING!

damn it

watch all two hours of fashion rocks or go workout???
i just ate chicken pad thai (i made it!) and had ice cream with shortcake for dessert.
GUH. workout!
damnit.
actually, the first five minutes are not really impressing me. who is this host anyway?

i've found my calling

sasha!

this one's for you, J!

delicious

as someone who eats a lot, i would like to say these look really delicious. i saw them advertised on a backdrop at fashion week and i thought...hmm.. how can you improve on M&Ms? well...
http://us.mms.com/us/about/products/mmspremiums/

daily intel's version of what happened last night

it's all below, but i changed the font to white in case you didn't watch last night because you were out having a life. if you want to see it just start highlighting in 3, 2, 1...

‘Gossip Girl’ Is Royally Pimpin’

9/9/08 at 9:30 AM

Comment 8Comment

Photo: Courtesy CW

Last night's episode of Gossip Girl was summed up pretty perfectly by the narrator herself, just after Chuck, Catharine, Nate, and Blair all run into each other at Blair's party: "Chuck's date and Blair's date are mother and son?" she says incredulously. "And Nate and Blair are exes? And Nate and the mother are in a book club?" Even she sounded like she was making fun of how melodrama-packed this episode was.

And yet, there was more to come! Blair schemes for Marcus, Vanessa pines for Nate, Rufus pines for "the road," and with the Captain on the lam, the Archibald family home and belongings are being repossessed, forcing Nate to sell his body — Yes! — to the Cougaress of last episode, whom we now know is called the Duchess and just happens to be Marcus's stepmom. Nate is doing it all in order be a man and protect his mother, of course.

But even with all of the implausibilities of this week's plot (they're still warming up!) there are still a few special moments where truth — special Gossip Girl truth — shines through. Those moments and more in our reality index, after the jump.

Realer Than Lesbian Mexican in the Village
• Blair gets all the best lines in this episode. Some of them we believe, some of them were too ridiculous for her to have thought of in the heat of the moment. Still, they deserve recognition. Our faves:
– "Just because Marcus happens to be the perfect post-Bass palate cleanser doesn't mean he isn't a delicious dish in his own right." Plus 2, because she would have spent time thinking this one up.
– "Notice how my voice didn't go up at the end? Not a question." Plus 2, because we think we've actually said that out loud to an intern.
– "Why, so she can warn me about the effects of too much Botox?" This is a great line that we believe Blair would have thought of, but she would never say it to an adult.
– "She made Waldorf rhyme with Spears." Also, too much.
– "Oh My F'ing God!" Blair says this when she discovers Nate and the Duchess on the floor of the library at the Hudson. Plus 2 for the nod to the show's much-hyped OMFG ad campaign.
– To the Duchess: "I thought you were just a callow social-climbing former swimsuit model who married above her station and was enslaved by her own insecurities." Plus 4, because there was a compliment that came after that sentence.
• But let's not forget the Gossip Girl's own carefully crafted lines, like "There is no 'we' in summer. Only 'U' and 'ME,'" (Plus 2) and "Is it the beginning of a beautiful bromance?" (Plus 2, because clearly she is reading all the right books.)
• Not that we checked, but yes, Tom Hanks was at Princess Diana's funeral, and therefore could have lent Marcus a tissue. Plus 3.
• Speaking of outside research, the actor who plays Marcus is actually 27, which means he is actually only nine years younger than 36-year-old Duchess Catharine. That seems an about-right age difference between a Manhattan stepmom and stepkid. Plus 4.
• Blair panics that she is a "secret summer shame." Having had secret summer shames (not the kind where you use an ill-advised amount of Sun-In, but the kind where the dude you date does), we know how scary the idea of being one can be. Plus 2.
• Of course Nate's mom would have no idea when he was coming or going. Plus 1. And of course she would be gardening in a time of emergency. Plus 1.
• Since Lily and Bart's wedding, the costume designer has apparently decided to dress Vanessa in exclusively neon citrus colors. Why she is being so punished we do not know, but the florescent yellow off-the-shoulder top she wears in the gallery with Rufus not only perfectly illustrates the truism that neon is always regrettable, but, along with the giant earrings and chunky necklaces, it is like a symbol of every terribly, disposably trendy outfit that has even been worn by a person of high-school age. We could actually see her shirt going out of style as we watched her onscreen, as one can watch a Morning Glory slowly close its petals in the midday sun. If Vanessa was real she would look back on a photograph of herself in that outfit and cringe, just like those of us who remember the eightiess cringed the first time neon came around. Plus 5, because generations have differences, but high-school fashion mistakes are eternal.
• Once they break the seal, Dan and Serena are stuck back together like a couple of adolescent magnets. "There's a force larger than us at work here," Dan says at one point. Yeah, dude, it's called hormones. But still, this is totally realistic. Once you figure out sex you want to do it all the time, because when you're a teenager — even in New York — there's not much else to do. Plus, breakup sex is so much better when you're 16, because you're not actually pissed off at each other about real stuff. Plus 2. Also, the way they continue to create obstacles for their relationship after that is so accurate that, in fact, it's the only thing that feels like high school in this whole episode. Plus 2. We particularly enjoyed this exchange: "I just think we should think before we get back together." "I thought this meant we WERE back together." We (Chris at least) definitely used this tactic in order to delay intimacy in tenth grade. Which means either Dan or Serena is going to turn out gay! Plus 5.
• They did a good job of handling Serena's lack of guile in this episode. Of course she wouldn't put two and two together and realize that Catharine (whom she knows, and whose relationship with Nate she's been covering) was a duchess and thereby probably Marcus's stepmom. Plus 2. And of course, when everyone collided at Blair's party, she wouldn't think to use the situation to Blair's advantage. Plus 2.
• Did anybody else notice that Blair's strapless dress was a printed toile pattern of English country scenes? Perfect for impressing a duchess! Seriously, someone give that costume designer a raise. Plus 3, for subtlety.
• HOLY HELL NATE IS A MALE PROSTITUTE. This is the best turn of events we could have ever imagined. Chace Crawford was born for this role. Plus 10.
• Vanessa ordered Chinese food and strung up Christmas lights, thinking it would be the ultimate romantic evening. It made us choke up when Punky Brewster did it for Henry and Maggie, and it still makes us choke up now. Plus 2.

Total: 57

As Fake As a Couple Who Looks Cute After Spending a Drunken Night on the Beach
• Remember when Serena ditched Dan on the random beach outside the White Party, even though neither of them drove there because it was a party with alcohol, and even though Dan borrowed all of his clothes from Grandma Rhodes and would clearly have to return to Serena's house to give them back? Yeah, that was awkward. Minus 3, with an additional Minus 3 for Serena's clean bra and full face of makeup. East Coast beaches at night are freezing cold and rife with mosquitoes. Serena would have wrapped herself in anything to keep the elements at bay, and she would have had sand in every crevice, including her eyelashes. Plus, the saltwater spray from the nearby waves would have taken that makeup right off, even if for some reason the stubble from Dan's scruffly chin did not.
• Where the H are Lily and Bart? No real business tycoon takes a whole summer off. Even if it's for something as romantic as, um, a fourth honeymoon! Minus 1.
• Last time we checked, it was hot in the summer. Marcus and Blair's granny bikes are completely accurate, but his jeans and khaki blazer are all wrong. What's wrong with a pair of nice seersucker shorts? Minus 1.
• Blair says, "It's like Roman Holiday, but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!" Okay, true, but we're wearying of this whole Audrey Hepburn shtick. Let's be honest, only poor, ugly girls love her that much. Minus 2.
• Wait, Marcus calls his stepmother Duchess? That's just absurd. Only cats are called that. Minus 1.
• Nate is entirely too confident when he walks into his house and discovers the Feds. He even rallies to be kind of a Basshole to them right when he sees them. Nate is way too slow to have rallied a proper defense until long after they'd left. Minus 2.
• Serena reads Nylon. Dude, no one reads Nylon. Minus 1. Also, a Minus 1 because we almost thought that was Blake Lively on the cover of that issue (it was Scarlett Johansson, we think — Lively was once a cover model, and let's face it, all Nylon cover models look identical).
• When Dan and Serena board the Jitney and there are plenty of empty seats during the last week of summer, we thought "no way." Minus 2. When Serena starts making a scene of erotically eating chocolate-covered strawberries, we thought, "someone would complain and that would end immediately." Minus 2. And when they had sex in the bathroom of the Jitney, we thought, "THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING WE HAVE EVER IMAGINED INVOLVING BLONDE HAIR EXTENSIONS." Minus 2, because of the splashing. Oh God, the splashing! Minus 2 again.
• Hold on. Speaking of disgusting waste splatter, was there just a split scene of someone rowboating down the East River? Augh! Minus 2.
• Vanessa has converted Rufus's gallery • which, by the way, remember, is called the Bedford Avenue Gallery • into a café. We were a little flummoxed by this (what, is this a world where high schoolers are in charge of everything? When we were teenagers our parents wouldn't have even trusted our friends with keeping the pets alive) but we won't take away points because we finally learn that Vanessa is home-schooled, which explains so, so much. (See above, re: neon.)
• Why would Marcus choose a violent squash match to confide details about his relationship to the Duchess? And why would he trust Chuck all of a sudden? Minus 1.
• We're supposed to believe that Nate immediately figured out it was Chuck bailing his family out? They spent all of season one proving how dim he was. Come on! That should have taken months. Minus 2.
• Rufus "misses" touring trashy college campuses? What is he, a member of the Roots? Minus 2.
• We feel the need to make a point that Bill of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure made so many, many years ago. STEPMOTHERS ARE NOT MOTHERS. They constantly refer to Catharine as Marcus's mom — which is not only inaccurate, it also rules out the obvious possibility of some illicit-but-not-illegal future family shenanigans! Minus 5.
• Nate and Catharine could never do it on the floor of the Hudson Hotel library bar. That place is always full of European tourists. Minus 3.

Total: 35

Well! We're surprised. Even with all of the melodrama, the "My Lords" and Duchesses, and the absence of Granny Rhodes, this episode manages comes out on the reality side, skewed by Vanessa's insane-yet-totally-realistic wardrobe and the squirmy-to-watch Dan-and-Serena relationship. Here's hoping Nate will take his shirt off all the way next week!

By: Chris Rovzar and Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: blair waldorf, chuck bass, dan humphrey, gossip girl, jenny humphrey, lily van der woosden, marcus beaton, rufus humphrey, serena van der woodsen, vanessa

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

it never fails, michael k will not let me have a bad day...i read this about 15 minutes ago and i still can't stop laughing.

Monday, September 8th 2008
Assault With A Deadly Sausage

Those are 5 words I love to hear in the evening. This shit right here sounds like the flimsy plot of a gay porn movie. It's not, but you can still make it extra sexy by taking off your pants, snuggling up to an 8-inch pork sausage and imagining the "bow chicka bow bow" song playing in the background.
21-year-old Antonio Vasquez was arrested in Fresno on Saturday morning for allegedly breaking into a home, stealing $900 and then beating one dude with a giant sausage and rubbing spices in the face of another. I told you this was going to be sexy.
It all started when Santiago Cabrera was sleeping on the porch of his home in Fresno, CA on Saturday morning. Santiago suddenly woke up to Antonio hitting him in the face with an 8-inch sausage. If only I had such problems.
While Santiago struggled to get up, Antonio kept hitting him in the face and head with his giant sausage.
After Antonio was finished beating Santiago with his juicy sausage, he ran inside the house and found Cesar Macias sleeping on a futon in the family room. Instead of attacking Cesar with his big sausage (I love writing that), Antonio threw Pappy's seasoning in his face! A load of hot spices to the face. This just gets better. Pappy's is made from "high quality all purpose spice blends, sauces and marinades." I bet it is.
Before busting out of the house, Antonio took off his shorts, with his drivers license, credit cards and cell phone in its pockets. He ran into an orange orchard with only a t-shirt and boxers on. He looks like the type who will beat you with his big sausage and then run off into the morning. Typical
Antonio was quickly caught by the cops in a field. They recovered the money, but the pork sausage was nowhere to be seen. When the cops asked Antonio where it was, he answered, "a dog ate it."
Antonio is currently being held on $100,000 bail.
Okay, in addition to being the plot of a gay porno, this could also be a "Three Stooges" episode.
Seriously, Antonio shouldn't threaten me with a good time! If that was my ass, I'd beg Antonio not stop! I'd play a little game of "pin the sausage on the hiney." Wait. What kind of sausage are we talking about again?
Source

sex and the city (of Atlanta)

i just got back from the gym. yes, its 11:30pm. since deciding to do the half marathon this morning, i've decided to use the blog as an online workout journal... so every night i'll update this with my workout - in theory it should work like my food journal (never did)...which is to say that if i workout, i'll be honest about what i did and for how long and if i don't work out, me and and my fans (ha!) will know about it. so tonight i ran 2 miles. i set the treadmill for the 5k workout, but give me a break, i only really started running today. tomorrow i'll try again.
so i'm waiting for letterman to come on and the local news just reported that atlanta was ranked by forbes magazine as the #1 place to be for singles. really? REALLY? pffffffffffffffffffffffft...





Special Report
Best Cities For Singles
Edited By Elisabeth Eaves 09.04.08, 6:00 PM ET

For the first time ever, Atlanta tops our list of the best cities for singles. The capital of Georgia and home of Coca-Cola earns the top slot because of its hopping nightlife, relatively high number of singles and sizzling job growth.

To those who know "Hotlanta," the ranking should come as no surprise. In the eight years that we have been ranking America's largest urban areas in terms of their friendliness to the nation's 74 million single adults, only once did Atlanta place outside the top 10. More ...

Turkey er...Trot

i'd say it was 4 or 5 years ago that i ran the atlanta thanksgiving day half marathon. Maybe it was 3. who knows. all i know is even when i began training for it earlier that summer, it still sucked when i ran it that fall. i don't think my body is made to run long distances. my short legs don't like to work that hard.
HOWEVER....feeling bloated, saggy and fat today, i registered for it this year. this way, when i fly home to eat my face off, i will have earned it. yes, i really think this way.

Done.

I just sent this to my agents:

Hi.

I'm angry.

I'm really starting to lose my patience with this. Just because I am using Down Payment Assistance and asking for closing costs doesn't mean this house is being gifted to me. It is a business deal and the price negotiated was the $229,500 with the DPA and the seller contributed closing costs. I'm being made to feel like I should be grateful to them for giving it to me at that price. I would still be paying nearly $2k a month in mortgage payment for the next 30 years. Not a gift. I'd also like to point out that we identified a lot of things that we gave up on even before signing the purchase agreement. We have been compromising since day one. What has the seller compromised on? The price? I'd love to see the appraisal.

All the numbers associated with this house were in black and white when we all signed the contract. If neither Bett nor her seller read contracts before signing - not my problem and I don't appreciate the retaliation in the form of "we aren't fixing any of your required repairs". I signed the contract and paid $350 for the appraisal and $300 for the inspection (I still owe Adam $50 for going into the crawl space) thinking this house would eventually be mine this Monday. I have been hurrying not only for my benefit, but also as compromise to the seller. I moved up my closing date to get him to sign with me rather than "the other offer". Then, when I'm the first to find safety issues with the house, they retaliate. I will contend until I am blue in the face that the requested repairs are required, safety issues. I'm not sure how else to say that. I don't know why anyone would sell someone a house with known safety issues. That is wrong.

I am not looking for a win here. There is no winner in this situation. I just want the seller to do the right thing and that means fixing the required repairs - the electrical, the chimney, the windows...the leak! I keep saying if the seller refuses to make the repairs - I'm out. I know both of you want me to get this house. I don't think anyone wants it as badly as the three of us. I fell in love with that house and was proudly telling everyone I was going to be a homeowner, but I'm not making deals with jerks like this seller and Bett so I need you to listen when I say "I'm out, I'm done". I am giving this until the end of the day, at which time I want to recover my earnest money and be done.

I do appreciate your help. Truly. I really want you to know that. I know this must be part of the homebuying process and you've both probably seen this happen so many times, but its new to me and I don't like it at all.

Anyway, thank you. You both have done a good job. If this doesn't pan out, in the future when I have the downpayment saved, I will be sure to work with you again.
Best,
L

the old kids

every morning i get up, take a shower and watch the Today show while i get ready.
thats the routine.
this morning, the new (read: old) kids were on. AGAIN. they must be signed to NBC Universal, because these dudes are on ALL THE TIME. first, it was to announce their comeback. they never actually sang. then they sang. then they came back to say there were going to sing again and today they were back singing.
new kids are old news. i wish they'd stayed in the 90s where they belonged.

BETT WILLIAMS IS A HAG

you all know i don't use full names on here. to protect the "innocent" (not that any of you are), i use first initials, pet names and on very rare occassions, first names, but not often.
i only use full names if i hate you.
hmm...
like Anthony Joseph Benson
or BETT WILLIAMS OF HARRY NORMAN REALTORS

if my hatred for you is especially fierce, i may even post a picture of you. like this one:
this bitch here is costing me at least $700. i hope someone drops a house on you, you hag!
i have had a fucked up day and i know i am being mean. but i don't give a FUCK. and anyway, i don't think she knows what the internet is, so she'll never see this anyway. i think that might piss me off more.

DRAMA

I was just saying that I feel like i have two jobs - the one I work at from 8:30am to 5:30pm and then the one I have buying this stupid house. yes, its become the stupid house. so much drama combined with other drama. i might scream.
so the house drama - background: my house was built in 1920 and was moved from its original location on the lot. when it was moved, it was put on top of a concrete block (really more like a concrete container because there is some crawl space underneath the house). so during inspection, we found the living room chimney was not supported. supporting the chimney became a required repair on the contract amendment. there were only three other major repairs i thought were required - the windows stuck (which is a fire hazard), the chimney and then there was a leak in the guest bathroom and the water heater dumped into a bucket instead of into the ground.
so the seller/the seller's agent/both are being assholes. they redlined everything i requested other than the bathroom leak and the water heater noting that everything else was "easy to repair by the buyer". Um, since when do I have an advanced plumbing, HVAC, masonry, building license? News to me. Honestly, I hope when I go to sell this house years from now I'm not as big of an asshole. My required repairs were reasonable. I just don't get it. This kept me up last night. That and my other drama at work.
So I have this client who is a HANDFUL. I mean he is the smallest client I manage but he is high maintenance. I should be spending time doing things for my bigger clients that make my company money, but this dude just doesn't give it a rest. He even called my boss yesterday to tell him I'm not grasping his business concept and that our communications are poor and that I am not doing a good job. This really sent me over the edge because all I've been doing for the past week is work on this dude's campaigns. Seriously! I ignore everything else just for this guy's small ass account. I told my boss this and he is happy with my work and told me to grow a thicker skin, but it is really hard for me to restrain myself. I want to kick this guy's ass. Are you for real? I am not doing a good job? Cause I have proof I have been doing a good job. Some people are so fucking ungrateful.