Letter to my Lender

Michele,
I wanted to reiterate how disappointed I am in today's turn of events.
I really feel as though the FHA situation causing us problems today could have been found prior to last night had the closing documents been filed/organized/put together earlier.
I knew something was wrong when you asked for a later closing time yesterday afternoon - I don't mean to say that you were withholding information, but it did tell me there was some last minute scrambling that could have been prevented had enough time been given to the organization and forwarding of documents to the attorney.
I am even more disappointed because I've done everything in my power to limit the closing drama everyone always tells me about. I've proactively emailed, hunted down information, forwarded numbers and contacts...everything... and yet I run into this 11th hour problem. You may have documents that say today's issue wasn't found until last night and I won't dispute that, but please realize this is an overwhelming inconvenience to me.
I scheduled everything to be transferred over in the next few days. Now I'm at a loss as to what to do since I can't even reschedule the closing date because I've been given this gigantic 10 day waiting window.
Do I extend my lease? What do I do about the movers I've scheduled? I have to cancel my parents flights. What do I do about all the utilities I've scheduled to move over this weekend?
I have no answers to any of my questions. Please make this right. I will continue to help move this process along in any and every way I can. I will not be disappointed a second time. I ask you to please keep pushing to get me into my home as soon as possible.
Thank you,
Lola

I am not closing today

I've always thought I was a bit manic depressive.
If I ever needed proof, I have today.
This morning I did the final walk through of my condo.
I got all my keys. My door, the gym, the mailbox, the garage clicker thing. I was really happy.
Then all the loan bullshit happened and I learned I can't close for at least another 10 days.
FUCK.
I was so proud of myself this morning and now I'm angry at the entire world.
I hate this.

FUCKING LENDERS

I have been warned by several homeowners that there is always last minute closing drama. I guess that is what everyone was preparing me for.

Well get this... Last year I was trying to buy a lovely old house in Whittier Mill Village on the west side of Atlanta. Well the deal fell through for various reasons but mostly because the seller's agent BETTE was a GIGANTIC BITCH FACE HAG SLUT. Anyway, I applied for an FHA loan through FlagStar Bank. Since the deal fell through you'd think the loan case had been closed. Think again.

This morning I get a call from my lender, Wells Fargo, telling me that the FHA loan case had not been closed (since last year! AUGUST TWO THOUSAND FUCKING EIGHT!) and you can't close on an FHA loan if two FHA loan cases are open. So I got a hold of FlagStar, put them in touch with Wells Fargo and they are working it out. HOWEVER - closing a case number may not be instantaneous which puts my 5pm closing time at risk. I may not close today and I'M FUCKING PISSED.

Why wasn't I alerted to this until now?
Why wasn't the fucking case number closed?
Why does there have to be drama?
I've done all I can to avoid drama. I've made everything neat for all parties concerned yet they are RETARDS. WHAT THE FUCK?!

I am trying to keep my cool over here, but it is becoming really hard.

Closing Tomorrow

I don't really know what to expect from tomorrow.
Lots of people have asked me if I'm excited or nervous. Should I be?
Some people have told me to prepare myself to make a big check. I mean... I don't make checks out for thousands of dollars on a regular basis, but it doesn't seem like a big deal to me.
Some people have even asked me when I plan to celebrate (not anytime soon).
I'm more concerned with what I'm going to wear. Just kidding. Kinda.

Tomorrow I will be the owner of a condo. Honestly I never thought I'd buy a condo. Then I realized I'm the laziest person I know. I don't do yards or lawn mowers or cleaning really. My eyes are also bigger than my pockets so I'd probably go into debt from wanting to furnish everything.

I know what I want my condo to look like, but I also know it will take me time to get there. I'm not worried nor do I feel rushed. Except when someone mentions house warming party...

I am just extremely proud of myself. I really can't articulate how proud I am of me.
I bought something. Something worth thousands of dollars. Hundred thousand dollars+++. I did that. Me. Just me. No help from anyone.

At these times I think about my mom. I know you shouldn't do things for anyone but yourself, but I can't help but think - gosh my mom is going to be proud of me. And she is. I am living the American Dream because of my mother. I am able to be the person I am because of her. So thanks mom. Thank you so very very much!

Oh Felicia

The Constellations - "Felicia" from Raygun on Vimeo.

Update

I have reached the "please kill me now" phase.
Also, building management has warned of break-ins in the lot that I park in everyday and say not to leave valuables in sight. Well, this morning in my stupor I left my phone in the car. I am too hungover to go get it. Eff.

I am still drunk.

Went out last night with my amigos to Pozole in the Highlands for birthday goodtimes and
didn't get home until 3am this morning. Also managed to get a police escort home.
Apparently I wasn't walking straight upon exiting Dark Horse. Police pulled up behind me and asked me where i was going/how far was i going. i pointed in the direction of my house, almost fall over and he's like "okay. i'll watch you get in" HAHAHA! What?
Everyone likes to complain that City of Atlanta police department sucks - but they come to Diesel when I call and complain and they escort me home. They are pretty incredible if you ask me.

Hungry + Lazy

I am not sure what is going on with my eating habits. Maybe it has to do with the chaffing I got on my inner thighs the other day when I ran.

I am hungry but am too lazy to go heat up any of the groceries I got a lunch today.
Maybe my inner skinny girl is telling me not to eat because my thighs are too big.
My inner thighs have never chaffed. Not in all the distances that I've run. Ever. Except the 5k I ran on the treadmill on Saturday. Came home and I had a patch on my inner thigh that burned like fire. This got me thinking. I'm fat. Need to lose weight. Jeans too tight. Gross.

But I am hungry.
What to do..what to do...???

Happy Birthday Shout Out

happy birthday griffin (not really griffin, but griffin's human)!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

Purge

In preparation for my move, I've been going through everything - including all the boxes of crap I have. Don't act so surprised. Yes I have piles AND boxes. I'm not so much a packrat. I'm just disorganized. Also, I get frustrated with my own messiness, so when I get fed up, I just put piles into boxes and shove them out of sight.
Anyway, I am surprising myself with the stuff I'm finding.
Found a recipe I believe BK gave me. Not sure. BK, please confirm:

Zucchini + Yellow Squash Casserole
2 zucchinis, sliced
1 1/2 - 2 yellow squash
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
3/4 lbs. of mushrooms, sliced
1 - 2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1 cup sour cream
1 can cream of mushroom
1 - 2 cups of cooked stuffing
Italian seasoning
Salt + Pepper
Butter

Cook zucchini, squash, onions, and garlic in butter until soft, but firm.
Add mushrooms, sprinkle with Italian seasoning, salt and pepper. Take off heat.

In a bowl mix sour cream, cream of mushroom soup, parmesan. Stir in veggies.

Transfer to baking dish.

Cook at 350 degrees for 25 - 30 minutes.

Bedroom

I'm still undecided on what color my living room is going to be, but papa is getting me Glidden's Clear Blue Sky. FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I've always wanted a blue bedroom. I'm so excited!

You will never see

...the following designers featured on this blog. Ever.
1) diane von furstenberg
2) marc jacobs - his bags i can handle. his clothes are crap - both lines - marc by marc jacobs and marc jacobs (*** though please note the stunning use of fannypack in the upscale marc jacobs line...just sayin'...HATERS!***) his collections have always seemed childlike and in randomly bold colors. its the same year after year and i'm not into looking like a clown.
3) betsey johnson. same reason as marc jacobs. if i wanted to wear a babydoll dress i'd find a way to time travel to the early 90s. no.
4) herve leger. its been a collection of bandage dresses in different patterns for the past several years. no.
5) victoria beckham. no.
6) anna sui falls into the same category as betsey and marc.

Now I don't pretend to know anything about fashion. I know what I like. If you love any of these designers - good for you. I don't.

Baby Makin' Music

Please excuse his eyebrows.

Badgley Mischka S2010RTW

photos by Marcio Madeira

For me, the Badgley Mischka collection was what I've come to expect - safe and pretty - and I like it! You'll notice I chose to feature the tops and dresses with the deep V neckline - which I think is sexy on just about everyone.

Rodarte S2010RTW

Rodarte's Primitivism | Futurism
I already know I'm going to get several "no way!"'s and "that's awful", but think beyond safe and pretty and think of fashion as art. This is high art and I applaud the forward thinking.

Photos by Marcio Madeira

Disco Chic

photos by Greg Barsegian for Halston

Why wasn't I young and fabulous in the disco era? UGH

what a tangled web we weave...

this has been bothering me for a while now.

every morning, when I get in my car there is a thick spider web from my driver's side mirror to the door and every morning i swipe it away but its always back the next morning. we're not talking a few spider strands. we're talking this spider works hard overnight to piss me off. i think it lives in my mirror. as in between the mirror and the mirror "case". I look for that damned spider every morning to kill it but that little shit is playing mind games with me because i've never seen its face. i know its there though. it has to be! it makes me want to rip the mirror off the car, open it up and destroy the spider. i guess i could spray some sort of solution on the mirror and the spider would die, but that seems too easy. plus i want to see it before i kill it.

okay. abnormal.

It's been awhile

It's been a week since I wrote last. I can't say that I haven't been up to anything. I have. I've just been suffering from a laziness and loneliness. Yes, this damned loneliness is still plaguing me.

I've also been sick. I don't think it's swine flu. It wouldn't surprise me if it was considering half of Georgia has it. So anyway...the highlights:

Monday - Friday I don't really remember. Wait, Monday was Labor Day right? I did a 10k. It sucked. If you're familiar with Cumberland Parkway you know its not flat. It's actually the opposite of flat. I'd been running, but I wasn't ready for that. I ran outside some day after that. Went to the gym. Tried to avoid gluten. I can't remember what I did on Friday. Oh yeah, I was supposed to eat at Ra with 1201am but she got busy and cancelled. Then on Saturday I spent the majority of the day with Yones, watched Inglorious Basterds (VIOLENT + GRAPHIC!) and then worked some and progressively got sicker... I did progressively get worse with the whole gluten-free meaning Cray-Z delivered a Humble Pie. Well! You would have done the same. Stayed home today (Monday).

Anyway. Thats the story. Gossip Girl on in 30.

Fuck I'm boring.

renewed faith in Craigslist

Peace dining room set! :)

AND now the couch.

Currently hanging out on my floor. Cable doesn't work in my bedroom, otherwise I'd move the TV.

Shew!

Update (09/08): Just moved my bed into the living room. I'm not kidding.

Peace floating bookshelves!

P.S.

I always seem to want what I can't have - whether its a person or a thing.

I'm trying to figure out why this is because I know most people recognize right from wrong, have limits, know better, etc. I'm getting better at it, but I'm not entirely there.

Okay, that's it.

The Mean Reds

I didn't know what the mean reds were until a few weeks ago when I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's. Thanks, Yones. Well, I think I have that today, but I don't have a cure. I wish it was as easy as hopping in a cab with a cup of coffee and a croissant and looking at all the pretty jewelry at Tiffany's. Why is it I get the saddest when I should be the happiest?

I have my life together.

I love my job.

I just bought a home of my own.

I have great family and friends.

But I'm lonely. I've been avoiding saying that for awhile. Guess what? It doesn't feel any better to admit it. In fact, I feel even more miserable. It feels like I've admitted defeat.

God bless my friends - they are forever trying to get me out to meet people but it feels so false to me, going to "singles events". Some of my girlfriends say "join an online dating service! there's no shame in that!" No there isn't any shame in that, but I've done it before and I hated it each time.

I just don't want to place myself into an environment of desperation. Most of my friends have met their SO's not through the web or speed dating or Match.com - it was more happy coincidence. Like at the bar we'd been to thousands of times before. At work. At a museum. At a wedding.

What am I doing wrong? RHETORICAL.

So you know I don't want kids (unless my husband REALLY wants ONE) - but I do want someone to share my happy life with and the older I get, the more scared I become I will be alone for the rest of my life and it makes me extremely sad.

Every man I've loved has broken my heart. That isn't an exaggeration. Every. Single. One.

I still want love in spite of it. God. I'm pathetic. Nevermind.

Don't ask me about this or bring this up with me. I don't want to talk about it. Pretend you never read this. I'm just in a funk.

Insider's Guide

Just found this. NICE!

http://www.repeatatlanta.com/home.html

You might want to congratulate me!

I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like I'm going to be a homeowner on September 30!

I'll be living at 870 Inman in a one bedroom, one bath.

I'm excited! Be excited for me!

http://www.870inman.com/home.htm

Miss Tent

I forgot to mention my new Kelty is a magic talking tent.

On Sunday morning, Cray-Z's business partner's little boy (The Cutest Little Boy in Georgia), came to our camp to wake Cray-Z and Mama C up. I woke up during the whole thing and in my groggy state bid him a good morning not thinking he couldn't see me so it seemed like the tent was talking to him. It went a little like this:

me: "good morning e!"

him (to his dad): "did that tent just talk?"

me (laughing): "yes I did!"

him: "how are talking??"

me: "Magic!"

him: "do you have a mouth???"

me: "yes. yes i do"

him: "what's your name?!"

me: "uh...uh.... Miss Tent!"

him: "Miss Tent, do you want my worm?" (he'd tried to give it to Mama C and Cray-Z before with no luck)

me: "no thank you"

The whole time I'm half asleep but wholly amused. Since it was early (I want to say before 8am on Sunday), they go to leave but not before The Cutest Little Boy in Georgia says..

"Bye Mama C!!! Bye Cray-Z (not really he uses their real names)!!!...BYE MISS TENT!!!"

"Bye Bye E!"