the clumsiest person in america

ME!
so last night i went to dinner and a movie with Yones. we planned on going to Chipotle up the street from his house and then see Twilight at Phipps.

yesterday (daytime) was our company photo. our company christmas (excuse me, HOLIDAY) cards will have a group picture on the cover. yay. so i had to look nice. i put on my black dress, patterned tights and the only decent pair of black shoes i have. these shoes also happen to be a good 4" (if not more) off the ground. now let me start by saying that i used to be able to run marathons in heels (not really, but you get where i'm going with this). stilettos and i weren't friends, but we had an understanding - make me look hot, and i will wear you everywhere. well, some years ago, stilettos and i had a falling out and i have been wearing flats ever since. i've complained on this blog before about losing my nice legs to flats and trying to reconcile with the stiletto, but to-date, i haven't really gone after the reconciliation with any frequency - with the exception of my only pair of black 4-inch heels. the heel itself isn't a stiletto, its actually a good solid heel (not chunky, but more the "modern" heel as some designers call it). but i digress....

so last night i picked up chuck right after work and we went to chipotle. it had rained hours before so the ground is still wet. we walk into the chipotle and there is no mat to dry the bottoms of your shoes (i only noticed this after what i'm about to tell you). so i'm walking to the chipotle counter to order my burrito bowl when my right leg slips on a patch and i stumble but i think i'll recover until my left leg gives out, too. i know how this all happens because this was seriously the slowest fall of my life. so i'm trying to regain balance on both legs, stumble forward and eventually both legs give out and i land on my left ankle first and then both my knees, my face only inches away from the chipotle counter (and you know that would have hurt).
i sit there in pain for several seconds and i can see the counter people come out from behind the counter and to my side to make sure i'm okay. and did i mention the chipotle was full? so i have all the people in the front row booths sitting up to see what happened and all the people in the back row booths stand up and come to the front. my fall was so loud. like a fucking elephant had been taken down. my knees and my left ankle all kill me, but having fallen in front of all those people, my pride hurts too. so i get up and wave to everyone. "yup, i'm okay" and proceed with acting normal and ordering my burrito. well! i was STARVING. as i'm making my way through the line people are still staring at me. so i stare back and smile. seriously? would you like me to fall again? was that not enough entertainment for you?
i'm beginning to think i can't walk in heels anymore. blah.