hospital tour

yesterday was a very medical day for me.
i woke up and went to my annual gynecological exam. back when i was a hypochondriac, i was there every month getting myself tested for STDs and asking them "does this seem strange to you?", now I only see them once a year when i need to get my birth control refilled. Its not as though they knew me back then and the conversations were easier, but yesterday was struggle city. the woman that weighs me, makes me pee in a cup and pokes me to draw blood for an iron test is the same lady that has done that to me for years. doesn't recognize me. in fact, i don't think she looked at me once yesterday. the conversation consisted of "go here, step here, pee there, come here, put this on". there wasn't even a thank you. then the nurse practicioner came in (whom i've been seeing for the past several years now because my doctor is too good for me) and it was more of the same awkward. i knew she was going to pull the "anything cool over the past year?" bullshit on me (this is her favorite question everytime i come in) and i'm like....eh... and then i throw out "napa" and she latches on to that asking me question after question while she's down there examining the vajayjay. how the hell am i supposed to make meaningful conversation when there is something like this inside me?
I'M SORRY! I HAD TO!
the whole thing took 10 minutes and i was out and on my way to northside hospital to go sit with mama C for a couple of hours while papa R was having ankle surgery.
here's another thing - why do hospitals charge for parking? seriously?! have you seen your last doctor's bill from a doctor that practices from inside the hospital? its CRAZY? do they really need my $5 per half hour??!!
i left right around the time papa R was getting out, so C asked if she could borrow my car. I gladly gave it up to her, but then realized, i was headed to my dentist (off the highway) and you know i'm not comfortable in my own car...this was going to be interesting. so down 400 and back up 85 i went to see my dental hygenist (because again, my real dentist, the one with the medical degree is now too good to see me). sweet. no cavities, but that shit hurt. in fact, every time i go, i swear i can move my lower four front teeth around with my tongue. creepy.