Stay Classy, Phoenix

Last Saturday, my sister and I donned our finery and went out to party with the Real Housewives of Phoenix at the annual Phoenix International School's soiree. The soiree is for parents (and sisters from Atlanta) only and raises money for the school through silent and live auction of items the parents have gone out and collected from various vendors as well as items the kid's have made in their class. The theme of the evening was An Evening in South America - or something like that. The Phoenix International School is a charter school that immerses kids in either Spanish or French, so the theme made sense.

I didn't know what to expect given the way I came to find out it was cocktail attire. The invitation didn't say anything, so when we got there we spotted everything from black jeans (!) to floor length gowns (though something tells me some of these were re-purposed bridesmaid dresses given the color and fabric) to stripper platform shoes. It was good people watching at the very least.

We were seated at a table with 4 other couples, the parents of kid's in my niece's class. These parents must not get out much because they were downing the free bottles of booze at the center of the table. For the most part, our table were pretty young, not as young as my sister, but still young (my age, I'm 32). The oldest couple (in their 40's at least) was the worst. The wife was already pretty drunk by the time she sat down for dinner.  The first course came out, salad, and you could see her struggling to keep lettuce from falling off her fork and out of her mouth. If she wasn't so obnoxious, I would have felt sorry for her, but it was easier to laugh. Meh. She left right after the main course was sent to our table and had to be lifted out of her chair and practically carried out by her husband.

During the live auction portion of the evening one of the couples at our table bought some ugly ass flowerpot with all the kid's handprints on it for $675. Starting bid, $300. An ugly wooden chair decorated by the French A class was sold for $1,000. A cup and saucer set by another class was auctioned at $1,250. I wonder if any of these parents got home and thought "what the fuck did I just buy?" I mean, it all goes to their kid's school, but still. My sister tells me the event raised $40k that night and there were only about 200 people there. I think this says a lot about the money these people have to spend and given the way they weren't listening to any of the speakers and instead drowning in cheap wine, how you can't really buy class.

I drank a bit, but I wasn't drunk. I kept it classy. So did my sister, but only because she's pregnant. Just kidding, V.