Trash Can Game

Everyday I walk into my office and my trash can is somewhere new.
It's like a game the cleaning people play with me. I've never been a willing participant, but they have me at their mercy because I use my trash can pretty frequently.
Anyway, this morning I couldn't find it. Five minutes of searching later, I found it in the office adjacent to mine. Really? Is it rude to tape a post-it to the floor indicating "Trash Can Here"? I think that may be the only reasonable solution left.

Ina Garten's Apple Pie Recipe

Tomorrow, 1201am and I are baking cookies. I decided to also make an apple pie for the next day's Christmas Eve dinner party. Thanks to Ina Garten for the recipe: 

Ingredients

• 4 pounds Granny Smith apples, peeled, quartered, and cored
• 1 lemon, zested
• 1 orange, zested
• 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed orange juice
• 1/2 cup sugar, plus 1 teaspoon to sprinkle on top
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
• Perfect Pie Crust, recipe follows
• 1 egg beaten with 1 tablespoon water, for egg wash

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Cut each apple quarter in thirds crosswise and combine in a bowl with the zests, juices, 1/2 cup sugar, flour, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice.
Roll out half the pie dough and drape it over a 9- or 10-inch pie pan to extend about 1/2-inch over the rim. Don't stretch the dough; if it's too small, just put it back on the board and re-roll it.
Fill the pie with the apple mixture. Brush the edge of the bottom pie crust with the egg wash so the top crust will adhere. Top with the second crust and trim the edges to about 1-inch over the rim. Tuck the edge of the top crust under the edge of the bottom crust and crimp the 2 together with your fingers or a fork. Brush the entire top crust with the egg wash, sprinkle with 1 teaspoon sugar, and cut 4 or 5 slits.
Place the pie on a sheet pan and bake for 1 to 1 1/4 hours, or until the crust is browned and the juices begin to bubble out. Serve warm.

Perfect Pie Crust:

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) very cold unsalted butter

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 tablespoon sugar

1/3 cup very cold vegetable shortening

6 to 8 tablespoons (about 1/2 cup) ice water

Dice the butter and return it to the refrigerator while you prepare the flour mixture. Place the flour, salt, and sugar in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade and pulse a few times to mix. Add the butter and shortening. Pulse 8 to 12 times, until the butter is the size of peas. With the machine running, pour the ice water down the feed tube and pulse the machine until the dough begins to form a ball. Dump out on a floured board and roll into a ball. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Cut the dough in half. Roll each piece on a well-floured board into a circle, rolling from the center to the edge, turning and flouring the dough to make sure it doesn't stick to the board. Fold the dough in half, place in a pie pan, and unfold to fit the pan. Repeat with the top crust.

Yield: 2 (10-inch) crusts

The Christmas Fettucine

Thanks, Giada:

Ingredients

• 18 ounces fresh fettuccine
• 2 1/2 cups heavy cream
• 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
• 12 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 cups grated Parmesan
• 2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
• Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
• Salt and freshly ground white pepper

Directions

Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, about 4 minutes. Drain.

Stir 2 cups of the cream and the lemon juice in a heavy large skillet to blend. Add the butter and cook over medium heat just until the butter melts, stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat.

Add the pasta and toss. Add the remaining 1/2 cup of cream, and Parmesan to the cream sauce in the skillet. Add the lemon zest, nutmeg, salt, and white pepper. Toss the pasta mixture over low heat until the sauce thickens slightly, about 1 minute.

The Sing-Off

Let me be clear that I don't watch Glee.
I don't think I'd like it to be honest. But A Cappella? A Cappella I can get down with!
If you love to be amazed by the awesomeness of beautiful voices, you must watch The Sing-Off.
Enjoy some Christmas tunes by The Sing-Off contestants here

Predictions From Miss Jae (Asian Miss Cleo)

Miss Jae:

okay, can i tell you something?

this is what i picture foryou....

 

Lola: 

tell me :)

 

Miss Jae: 

you're going to meet someone and it's going to be the right fit. you'll know it, mango will know it, your friends will know it, your sisters will know it, etc. i can totally see you and this beau just moving fast. you meet, you date, you get engaged, you get married all within 6-12 months.

i can see you being in passionate and stable romance that will sweep you off your feet.

you guys will jet off to some exotic location and you'll just shoot me an IM or text, "dude, we're getting married."

this is what I picture.

Chomp Chomp

I don't usually do this, but it's appropriate in this instance.

I WORK WITH THE LOUDEST EATER EVER. LIKE IN THE HISTORY OF EATING.
WHEN I SAY EATING, I MEAN CHEWING, SWALLOWING, IT'S JUST... FOUL!
HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW HE EATS LIKE A LOUDASS COW?
VOMIT.

$1,278

That's what I owe to Piedmont Hospital for the gastric emptying study I did back in September.
Merry Christmas! You're all getting cards. Mama is poor!

O Tannenbaum

I put up my fake ass Christmas tree last night.
I was looking at this thing as I was assembling it and laughing at myself. I mean. It isn't just fake. It's ultra fake. It's a "fir" tree, but the fir is tiny strands of green shredded paper. While I was in Virginia for Thanksgiving, my sister dragged me to The Home Depot to check out their trees (real and fake) and there was a beautiful fake one that almost looked real...FOR TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS! I mean, I guess its worth it if you are going to die with your fake Christmas tree, but damn!
I will say my fake ass Christmas tree makes me super happy. Every ornament, except the glass balls, have so much meaning behind them. I want more, but you can't just buy them. People have to gift them to you (which honestly, is the reason I give ornaments for Christmas, you'd think someone would have caught the hint by now, but I have zero ornaments to show for it). This year, my sister gave me a a pink Barbie Christmas tree ornament. It's got little shoes as ornaments. I LOVE IT! The Georgia Aquarium one she gave me last year is hanging proudly on there, too.
I love Christmas!