Tony

Alright, this is for those of you that I haven't told or those of you who I'm afraid to tell because of backlash (I know it comes from a good place but I hate being judged or being told I'm foolish).

I have been "seeing" Tony again. I've gotten questions like "Has he apologized?", "Has he changed?", "What's different this time???"

I know I've taken you all down this road with me several times over the past 7-8 years. Every time it ends abruptly. Each time it hurts me. Trust me, it hurts me more each time it happens than it bothers you to watch me go through it. This last time was the longest period of time I hadn't talked to him - nearly 3 years. You all know I missed him. Up until he quit talking to me suddenly, he was one of my very best friends. I was really hurt for 3 years, but I dealt with it. With your help. But I missed my friend. Every day.

So now he's apologized for what he did to me in the past. I could make him keep apologizing, but what does that accomplish? Has he changed? Yes. None of us are getting any younger and as we grow more mature we realize the things we could have and should have done differently. We apologize to the people we've hurt. We communicate how we've changed. Tony and I have covered this ground. Does it assure me he won't hurt me again? No. But then... who ever gets that guarantee?

By communicating and building our friendship, we move forward and choose not to dwell in the past. I am so happy to have my friend back. I look forward to our conversations, our inside jokes, our friendship growing and all I can hope is that he feels the same way. I'm sure we'll have some unnecessary talk about it soon.