Magnum PI and LA Buns

so i work with this dude - he's an interesting character.
i must preface this by saying i am in no way attracted to him - i learned this lesson years ago. you don't date anyone you work with. EVER. but i love the way he smells. its a mixture of good cologne and cigarettes. i know that must sound foul, but i love it. it just smellls manly to me. or maybe it reminds me of chad. chad smelled like armani and menthol and i thought it was hot. okay. i'm weird.

so the dude i work with wears some short shorts. one morning, i walked in on a conversation my coworkers were having before he got into the office. they'd renamed him Magnum PI in honor of his shorts. i hate shorts. unless i'm running in them, i don't wear them, but this dudes shorts are shorter than any of my running shorts. he sits right across from me and he'll cross his legs and when he's wearing these shorts, i can see the bottom of his nalgas! eeeeeeeee! very distracting.

i also feel compelled to tell you i have a crush on someone. i am talking all-out eee! he's over there! don't look at him, you'll be too obvious! crush. when i used to go late night to the Atlantic Station LA Fitness, he'd be there, but then i started working out early and he reappeared over at the Midtown gym. I really hope he isn't gay (you can't tell in this city), but I'm pretty sure he's not. He's so cute AND he's hispanic of all things! you know me and the whities.

when it comes to dating and flirting i'm a complete retard. i don't know how to do it. i'm way too shy. but i want to talk to this guy. R says stare him down and smile - be persistent and consistent about it... but its been weeks/months.... maybe he's gay or not interested... at least he's incentive to go to the gym! ;)

boobs.

B, A and I just went to Rising Roll for lunch. B gets really excited on Wednesdays - double punch day! once he eats 16 meals (or 8 on double punch days), he'll get a free sandwich. we pointed out to him this was kind of a lot and he conceded that collecting punches was probably more trouble than its worth. win some, lose some.

so there were some interesting people there...i only ate half my sandwich and needed a carryout container. i went up to the register and a woman was already up there waiting for her catering order. when she turned around to face me, i may have jumped. woman had a full-on bushy mustache. wow. however, i think the person who got the most attention was the attractive youngish girl who's boobs were hanging out the sides of her dress. she wasn't wearing a bra and you could see her nipple. i almost went up to her to say something, but i figured she had to know what she was doing.

i don't know if i'm jealous of those that can go braless and do or if i find the whole braless thing gross. all i know is that i don't go out of the house without a bra on and it wasn't up until recent years that i started sleeping without a bra on. my boobs are just too big and i am in no way bragging. i'd give them to you if they were detachable. if i could go without a bra i would. maybe. definitely not with that dress this girl was wearing though. ew.

so i had planned on going to walmart for lunch to pick up new earphones because my nice ass Phillips/Nike ones died. they aren't even a year old. i went to target earlier and tried to return them, though being an electronic and having no receipt, i was met with "call the consumer line"
so i did and 10 people later (no joke), i finally got someone to send me a new pair. i probably still have to get a pair to tide me over because i hate working out without music, but at least i know nicer new ones are on the way.

i feel like i've been working all day

maybe because i have been. i have been working since 2am. i left work at 2pm but didn't really nap until oprah came on. she had jim carrey (who i don't find funny AT ALL), carol burnette and steve carrell (my baby daddy) on. i really hate it when oprah tries to keep up with her guests. she tried to be as funny and humor is clearly not one of her strengths. she pulled a tyra and i hate tyra. speaking of.... i agree with all my gossip blogs....especially michael k....you know tyra will be talking about her emmy win friday night until she dies. super.

so i'd like to thank you guys for the comments. i'm sorry i wasn't able to chat more today. you wouldn't have wanted to chat with me even if i was around. so cranky pants. sleep deprivation!

ugh. i have to go to the gym. i don't want to go to the gym, but i have to. i'll admit it. i went for a late night/early morning QT run. i had to! i was starving and had no caffeine in the house. and then you're there and you have to get a hot dog. and then you see the cheese machine. don't look at me like that! i know! i totally blew my diet. i had been so good. i have no will power!

but now the bachelorette is on and i have to watch that, so i probably won't make it to the gym until 10p. It's a good thing the Atlantic Station gym is open until midnight. i only watch the bachelor/bachelorette for it's awkward entertainment value - i promise. i don't have to watch it, but when its on, its like a bad car accident on the highway, you have to stop and look. i also have a girl crush on Deanna. i imagine she'd be a really cool friend. she's not one of those stupid bitches that have been on the bachelorette or the bachelor before.

so i forgot to tell y'all my mini drama from the other day. i got home from C & R's backyard bonanza early morning Sunday because i was having "stomach" issues. ok, so i overindulged in C's artichoke dip. its just soo good. REAL good. yum. anyway, i roll up to my house, get out of the car, get out my keys to open the door (keep in mind its like 2am) and as i'm opening my door, one of the losers from my building comes up behind me and is like "X, i need to talk to you".

i about jumped out of my skin. Nick (yeah, he gets a full name call-out for being a CREEP) is my landlord's nephew. used to live in one of the apartments, but now lives with her. total loser. in fact, S used to drink with him and i he know smokes pot all the time. he is in his early 20s. so he comes up behind me and i about jump out of my skin.

"about that email you sent my boss..." so apparently Nick works at Diesel. i'm pretty sure it's not because he's an exceptional waiter or bar-back. it's probably the only job he could get. he has no car (he wrecked it) and since Diesel is next door.....

but i digress...

he starts semi yelling at me. he's like "X, you live in the highlands. you can't complain about the noise*! why did you write him that?!" and all the while he's swaying, hiccuping in my face, just getting closer than i want him to be to me and my door. it was kinda scary. *to see email exchange see previous post

so after a few seconds of him doing this i decide enough.

so i start yelling something like "that email was written to the owner, not to you, which means any issue i may or may not have is between me and the owner. i'm not going to stand here explaining anything to you and if you get in my face again in this creepy ass way, i'll call the police. don't ever come up behind me like this EVER again. sober up."

shut the door in his face. jerk.