baby granmama drama

so i mentioned baby v didn't come into the world without some drama. you be the judge:

On Saturday, around 7pm, my mom calls me crying.
Let me make something clear from the start, my mom doesn't cry. It's not like I've only seen my mother cry a handful of times (there was drama growing up), but it always breaks my heart. It makes me cry. Usually, I just happen to be in the same place when she starts crying, but for her to call me and cry - that is red alert crisis level - so you have to listen. She said she was in the park walking around because my sister, her husband (L) and their midwife had kicked her out of the bathroom (in an at-home birthy, you deliver in the bathroom. gross). Now I'm used to my mother blowing things way out of proportion, but I wanted to understand why she was crying, so I prepared myself for a story.

She said that L's parents were not told when V went into labor like our family and friends were because they do not approve of their choice to deliver at home with no drugs and a midwife. I can't say that I disagree with this particular opinion, especially with a first child. It's just that so many things could go wrong. I'd want a hospital.

Anyways, she says they vehemently opposed the idea, so they were going to be told when baby V was born, not when V was in labor. I said "oookay". She continued by saying she had been supportive of them. She hadn't planned on being in Arizona when V went into labor, but was glad to help. She didn't agree with what they were doing, but never articulated the sentiment. Again, I said "oookay"...my mother has this way of going off topic...she said she would have kept her mouth shut (here it comes, I thought) if the labor wasn't nearing 48 hours, but V was in extreme pain. I said "Mom, she chose the hard way", but my mom, being the mother she is, wasn't going to watch her daughter in excruciating pain for 36 or so hours and getting worse without saying something.So she says that when the midwife was making conversation with her, she said something like "I can't support this" (this meaning an at-home birth with no drugs)" they turned on her, told her to go away and slammed the bathroom door in her face. That's her story and I'm sure something like that went down, but I know how nagging my mom can be and how stubborn my sister can be, so I just nodded and agreed and try to soothe.

So there's my mom, on the phone with me crying, at a park in Arizona. There really isn't a whole lot you can do in situations like this. I was mad at my sister and L for making her cry, but I mean, my sister is in labor and I know how I am when I hurt. I don't want anyone talking to me, least of all telling me what I'm doing is wrong. Actually, I bet I probably would have been meaner. My sister isn't much of a yeller, but you know I would have been like "GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!". I knew the last thing they intended to do was to offend my mother, but they are so concentrated on the birth of their first child they aren't going to notice how what they say and do is going to affect grandma. I mean really. They just want the nagging voice to leave them alone. I told my mom to relax. Breathe. She was ready to head to the airport. She was being really indignant saying things like "WELL! they don't want me here. What am I doing here! I'm leaving!" and I had to be like "don't be like that. are you listening to yourself? leave if you want, but don't do it out of anger or because you think your leaving will teach them some sort of lesson. this day is not about you". I told her to go back to the house and hangout. Take a nap or something. I knew she wouldn't and couldn't do this, but it was worth a shot. Thirty minutes later she called me again. I rolled my eyes.

She was in hysterics. "Why?! Why do they insist on going through with this stupid idea?! She can die! She is in so much pain! SHE CAN DIE! Why don't they call an ambulance!?!" I knew she'd probably busted back into the bathroom and saw my sister probably looking like she was going to pass out from the pain and couldn't stand it. At this point, we were beyond the point of testing my patience. So of course I start yelling "STOP IT! STOP! CALM DOWN. RELAX. They chose this. You have to live with it. This is not your choice. Ok?! The midwife will call an ambulance if she thinks something is wrong (they have to do this).STOP." She catches her breath and starts babbling again. So I'm like, "I can't talk to you right now. I have things to do. Call me when the baby is born, okay? It will be fine. Just calm down." Ten minutes later my phone rings again and I'm ready to throw it across the room before even looking at who it is, but I do and its J.

"ITS A GIRL!"

I call my mom and tell her thinking she's still out in the park.

"I know. They came out and got me. I'm cleaning her up right now"

Of course you are, mom.